Ooohh.

BABY BOY YOU ARE SO DAMN FINE.
I LOVE YOU. =)

Sick.

I threw up 3 times today. Early morning, in school and also 15 minutes ago. What is wrong with me? I'm not pregnant. DUH? I've never done it before okay! I'm still a virgin and I will always be until I'm married. So why amI throwing so many times? Is it due to empty stomach and super lack of sleep?

PS: Arent you ever gonna come home?

Bored.

Hello. Goodmorning. So I'm currently in school. Having D&T again. Gosh. I swear there's nothing to pay attention for in here. All he does is talk. And at the end of every lesson we all keep asking each other what we're supposed to do. What is wrong my my school? Urgh.

Anyways I don't have anything to say. I'm just bored. Dzul and Afiq are Facebooking their arse off. The rest are busy finishing up their assignments. Areena and Puma are in different classes but I bet their having fun. Anna is absent from school. I'm still not sure if I should go for dance or not. My head is spinning. Probably from yesterday. I can't walk properly. I have no energy. Okay they're right. I have to stop it. It's making me distracted in class.

PS: I miss you.

Mixed feelings.

Hello how do you do. I hope you're doing fine. Cause I'm definitely not. Sighs.

Its been a tough tough week for me. Hell. It has always been tough for me. Am I abnormal? Other people seem so happy with their lives. And I am like 24/7 cursing mine. Why is it so different for me?

Everywhere I go. People smiling and laughing here and there. Friends are like goofy-ing around in buses, trains, sidewalks, etc. Families having dinner together. Sisters shopping for shoes. Mothers and daughters buying clothes together. Fathers and sons watching soccer. And there I am all alone in one corner watching all these things taking their time passing by me. Why is it so unfair?

I am not sulking that my life sucks. Cause I don't want to be another sad whiny girl complaining about how badly life is treating her. I'm not like that. I'm very thankful for what I have. I am. I'm blessed with 2 parents. I'm blessed with 1 sister and 1 brother. And I have a good sturdy cosy house to shelter from and also food on the table always. The girls are wonderful friends for life. My cats are healthy. I'm healthy. Okay not so healthy but at least I'm not disabled or blind or disfigured. I can see I can smell I can talk and hear and touch and whatnot. What else could I ask for?

But if I had a choice, I think I'd rather be one of those kids in the orphanage. They don't have parents like me. But they seem to be so happy where they are now. If I had a choice, I'd rather be one of those poor kids in Indonesia or India. Even if they don't have wealth, they're all so loving towards each other. I feel like these not so fortunate people have much more than me. I don't care if I'm stranded on the streets. At least I know I have parents and siblings who love me.

Sometimes I think people like me, we take things for granted. Okay not sometimes. ALL the time. When I was in Batam, and I visited the local school there, how I wish I was 1 of them. What's the use of having a perfect family that is not perfect? These kids they are so lucky they weren't me. My family is so not perfect. I don't even feel like it's a family anymore. I feel like all the time I come home to a lonely and sad house. If I feel sad or something, I can't tell anyone. Nobody to talk to. Cause my parents are working and when they do come home, they're always too grumpy to talk properly. And I'll end up swallowing all my problems back into my guts. And then eventually cry it out while going to sleep.

And yet people still ask for more. I don't care about wealth. I don't. Cause it has done nothing but bring me misery all these years. Believe it or not, I HATE MONEY. I can't stand why people always treat it like its the end of the world if they don't have money. Money doesnt buy everything. I have money but still I'm a sad teenager. Why? Because I get no love. That's the most important thing in life. Not money. Gosh.

If you can't love, you can't have good life. Is that true or what?

PS: Please just forget this if you finish reading. I'm just shitting around. I'm in a crappy mood lately. So just flush everything down the drain please.

Emotions.

I am shocked.
I am pissed.
I am sad.
All I wanna say is what the fcuk.

Thank you very much.

School.

Hello.

Okay I'm in school right now and I have 3 minutes before the bell rings. So I'mma make this short.

1. Been super busy with Oeuvre V so I have no time to go on the computer.
2. Okay that's just part of the reason, the next part is that my computer is being a bitch! The monitor is just blank with a white arrow there. Urgh.
3. I hate my D&T teacher. Whatever he says, I don't understand a freaking thing.
4. Oh we have 2 new students in my school. 1 is a transfer from my class. Another is Phine's family friend's daughter from Germany. She's super nice.
5. I'm done. =)

Gotta go!