Irritation.

This post. If you want to read, go ahead. But I'm warning you, it'll get boring. It's gonna be LOOONG. So bear with it. After all, I blog to express, not impress. So here I go.

Currently, my spirits are down. I have no mood most of the time, my appetite is growing and my body is telling me to sleep every second. I don't know. I'm just super tired. So tired that when I'm staring into space, I literally doze off. Yes. Especially when I watch TV. In the car, in the train, in the bus. At home. At dance practice. But I'm not doing anything major. Just little bit of dancing here and there. And yet I'm so tired. Over-fatigue, Phine would say. Oh she's back by the way. And we're planning to go Gym and work that extra flesh off. =)

Alright so about the my spirits are down thing, this is why. Not entirely why, but briefly. My parents have been nagging non-stop about my studies lately. Cause the other day, School called my father to come and take the results cause the VP wants to discuss my progress so far. Daddy got angry cause it was like wasting time, just coming to school, listen to the arsehole smelly face talk to him here and there and then they're done. So he dumped all his anger on me. Saying that if I had passed, he wouldn't have to stop work and come to school. I understood his pain and troublesome-ness. But I couldn't stand it when my mom brought up the subject of me, failing cause my new classmates and Drama have been a distraction.

Bullsh*t. That's who my parents are. They can never face it that whatever happens in my family, all of it isn't their faults. All the problems we face, they got nothing to do with them. They are forever right. Never wrong. Especially Mom. I don't know what she's thinking most of the time. She's always and non-stop blaming me for all the little things that happen. I don't get it. And guess what she said when she saw the results? She said, "Kalau kau masok Acad tahun depan, aku suroh ayah kau masokkan kau Madrasah sudah. Tak payah nk buang mase lagi 2 tahun kat secondary school. Ibu tanak nanti jadi macam kakak kau. " (Read: If you drop to Acad next year, I will ask your father to put you in a religious school. Don't have to waste time in Sec. Sch. for another 2 years. I don't want it to later become like your sister. )

For goodness sake! They made one mistake in the past and they're implying I'm gonna be another mistake?! Fcuk that larh ohkay! I know what I'm doing. I know what's right and what's wrong! As parents you should be guiding me along the way to my success instead of bringing my hopes and my dreams down by saying irrelevant things like that! I have dreams. I have BIG FAT HUGE ENORMOUS dreams. And with you saying these things, you're shattering those dreams into teeny weeny tiny small pieces. How can you not realise that?! You're hurting me. Indirectly but you still are! Everyday I hear you go on about how the situation will be if I ever drop to Acad. Give me fcuking break! I have had enough from teachers nagging them stuff and I don't need them from you! I know what will happened. And I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF IT!!!!!

Bullsh*t.

PS: I'm pissed.