Life before happy endings.

OMG. How many years have I not been posting? Ohkay don't answer that. =p
Here's an update.

Hmm, I stopped at Tuesday, so i'll continue from Wednesday onwards. =)

Err nothing much happened actually. Normal school stuff, then had assembly and all and then went home. Thursday, I think I had no dance? I don't remember. Friday, ohh well, ended school with reading, PFFT. KAVITHA's SHIT in school hall. Saturday, had warisan. I couldn't puase, cause of, 'girl reasons'. Then Sunday, went to Geylang.

Monday had dance. Tuesday, normal lessons. Then dance. Yesterday went home with Siti Farah and Johanna. Screamed at the top of our lungs at the swing in Bishan Park. Damn tiring luh sioool. Then today, ho well, had dance again. Miss Shining was in her good mood today. We were making so much noise and all she said was, "People you're getting too loud uhk." And she was even laughing when we made mistakes during our warm-up. I just love her man.
Ohkay so that was school. Now's the harder part.

Home. Well, some of you might now know this, but, I haven't been going home eversince the incident in the post before this one. I don't want to go home. Actually I tried at least staying for a few minutes when I dropped by yesterday to take my stuffs for dance today. But, nothing's changed. I reached home, to find her there. She stared at me like she didn't even know who I was. She doesn't even care whether I go home or not. My heart sinks deeper everytime I see absolutely nothing like love in her eyes. Infact, everytime I look at her, my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces. Sighs.

But, thankfully, I still have that understanding father of mine. I just love my old man. He respects my decision, whatever way it is. Helet me stay over, cause he knows that I need to cool down. But when he thinks the time is right, he'll call me and ask me to go home. So, good thing I have him.

Another person would be my brother. Eventhough he's still going through the few last weeks of his NS days and that I don't really see him around that much, I'm still glad that I have that chunk of muscles as my brother. He's always the one coaxing 'her' to change her attitudes towards me. Eventhough he knows it's an impossible thing, I appreciate his efforts to make me a better child. Abang Izwan is so supportive.

And so is my sister. She's always been there for me. Always around when I need her. I can always depend on her to make me feel better. Whenever I call, she always answer. Hearing her voice makes me so happy sometimes, because I know that if I can't count on anybody else, this person on the phone can, cause 1 thing, she answered the call, so she still thinks I'm important, another thing is because she bothered to talk to me. Just a simple hello, would make me feel so much better. And I'm so glad I have Kakak Azian. She's my pillar of strength. I'd never know what I'd do without her.

But hey. I guess I'm sorry to say this then. Ayah, Abang, Kakak, I've decided that I don't want to go home to that house anymore. I just feel that, too much things have been happening. And I'm not sure I'm patient enough to go through every bit of it. Eventhough other amazing and wonderful things have also happened, like laughing about jokes, playing games around and catching each other all the time, and also me finally being able to have cats as pets, but however nice it is, I don't think I can do it anymore.
But don't blame 'her' though. As ya'll know, I do love her. But I've lost hope in thinking that she'll change. So there it is, I'm leaving. But don't worry, I'll be staying over at grams place. And I'll be going home every everyday to get my stuffs and also for tuition purposes. Nonetheless, always remember that I love all of you very much.

But heyy, my decision's not final yet. It's just a suggestion. I could change my mind and start hoping all over again. So let's all pray that my patience be topped up, my strength be brought up, my hopes and dreams of a happy family, shoot way up. Amin.