Ahzuerah Ahsharee

formspring.me

2011-11-17T08:12:00.001-08:00

Ask me questions about my lovelife. http://www.formspring.me/Ahzuerah

Heartbroken.

2011-11-13T19:35:00.001-08:00

Hi.

He ripped me apart.

He broke my heart.

I cried like hell last night.

When I looked into the mirror.

I got scared of my own reflection.

Cause I looked completely swollen and dead.

Fuck this.

I don't know how the heck I'm gonna get through this.

But I will.

Ladies, and gentleman.

I'm single again.

HELLO.

2011-09-23T05:34:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone How's everyone doing? How I doing? Well. I'm doing o-kay. Woah I've been gone for like what? 4 months?! Whoo boy that's long. Hahah. What have I been doing? Where have I been? Ohh well. Busy busy busy with lotsa stuff. MAINLY SCHOOL of course. And other stuffs.

Alright so my prelims are over. I failed everything I guess except English, hopefully. But for the first time ever I pass Bio! But Chem pulled me down. Math still F9. The rest just no hope. I'm starting to really work hard for Os. Cause I really don't wanna disappoint my parents and I don't wanna spend another year in that SONUVABITCH fcuked up school. So I'm really really trying my goddamn hardest. If I have to burn the midnight oil, I will. My math is almost there. I can pass if I keep practicing. I just realised that for all my subjects, I can pass if I study. I didn't study for Bio I just read throught the notes the night before, and I passed. Imagine how many marks I can get if I study and memorise everything? So there's hope. Wish me luck for Os. I'm thinking of either Mass Media Management or Social Sciences(Social Work). So yeah all the best to me. ^.^

The next thing I wanna talk about is that I'm so currently very very very happy. Sister's back! She's back in the house. Like after 2 years she's back. You have no idea how happy I am after 2 years of misery. My family's complete. Hari Raya she wa sthere. And now everyday I come home there's someone at home. I'm not loonely anymore. I'm happy.

The last thing I wanna talk about is that I've stopped crushing on the other one. Cause now I'm in a relationship with a better one. 'waited so long and in the end I got nothing. So I moved on and I got this guy. He's my baby. I love him. My first love. His first girlfriend. He's goodlooking, I know. I'm so damn lucky to have him. He's the sweetest. The nicest. The cutest. And it started like this.

1. We started texting.

2. I mean we've NEVER talked in school. Except like a hi and bye.

3. The first time, HE started it.

4. We kept it hush hush.

5. We texted from morning till midnight.

6. The feeling was so damn good.

7. Cause I've always thought of him as the most goodlooking malay guy in school.

8. So then on RHD we took our first picture together. AWKWARD.

9. He confessed. Accidentally. Which was so damn adorable.

10. Then I confessed.

11. Then we became firends with benefits. Secretly meeting during recess.

12. We exchanged baby photos.

13. Then on 25th Aug, he made it official at Anna's Condo's Gamesroom.

14. I fell in love with him.
15. I'm truly happy with him.

THE PROGRESS.

Racial Harmony Day. (Credits to Phine. This was DAMN awkward.)

After official. This was movie day at Cineleisure.

Hari Raya. I love this.

We've been inseparable eversince.

I love my Ezzy Di Maria a.k.a Sharizad Safiee. <3

Tagboard.

2011-05-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

Hi. Sorry for being gone. I had to take down the tagboard cause it was getting annoying. So anyways, how am I? Not so good currently. Here's 3 reasons why.

1. One of my ex classmate, has passed away, after committing suicide. I've know him for almost 4 years. Eventhough we separated classes in year 3 onwards in Secondary school, I still saw him around school. He was a great guy. I knew him as the guy who's dad is extremel too much. He was fun to be with, I heard. But he's gone now. And he had to die that way. Sighs. I went to the funeral as well as the cremation ceremony just now. It was so heartbreaking to see his mom and sister crying and wailing out loud cause their only son and brother is gone. His mom was crying non-stop. And his sister was so weak, she almost fainted. Everyone who watched it happen cried along. It was so touching and painful at the sme time. I started imagining myself going through the same thing. Whatever it is, Rest In Peace my friend.

2. I'm wasting my time crushing on him. He's such an ass. He doesn't do anything to make me like him. I'm so irritated with his attitude. URGH!

3. I still have feelings for the other one. I need help man. I'm so pathetic.

Okay. Till we meet again. In the meantime, you can find me on Tumblr. I've finally created my onw, yes. Hahah. www.inyourfacebeeyotch.tumblr.com

Jessie J - Do It Like A Dude (Explicit)

2011-04-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

Check this out. I love this song.

NOKIE E7 Smartphone

2011-03-06T01:49:00.000-08:00

MOMMA SAID SHE'LL GET ME THIS IF I DO WELL FOR MY MID-YEAR.

I'M HOLDING YOU TO THAT PROMISE MOM.

I SWEAR.

THIS PHONE IS JUST SO FREAKING COOL-LOOKING.

IF SHE REALLY GETS ME THIS PHONE, I'M GONNA SING AT MY BROTHER'S WEDDING.

OH YEAH. =)

Thrilled.

2011-02-25T06:02:00.000-08:00

Ask me why I'm so happy.

Why I'm so happy?

You asking me why i'm so happy?

I'll tell you why.

I love reading. Books are like part of my life. It makes me who I am. I learn so much through reading. How to handle life, mostly. The type of books I read are mostly Romance Novels. My favourite writer would be Jennifer Crusie and Tara Janzen. So anyways, why I'm so happy? I emailed Tara Janzen a few days ago, through her website. This was what I said.

Me:

Hey!
My name is Azura and I am only 16 years old this May 18th. I'm from Singapore and I love reading your books! Right now I just finished reading Crazy Love and I gotta say, I love Skeeter's character. She's so cool and intriguing. So anyways, I just wanted to know, when did you start writing and how did you do it? I want to be a writer but I'm still exploring the whole thing and I need to improve on my Vocabulary as well as my sentence structures. But I love reading. And I tend to create little scenes in my mind whenever I finish reading a book or watching a movie. And as soon as I'm done, I'll take a pen and a little book and begin writing dialogues. I let my friends read my first Story and they liked it. So do you think I have what it takes to be a writer? I'd be so happy if you could respond to this message. Thank you so much for reading this, Tara! And all the best for your future books!

And guess what? She replied! I didn't think she would, but she did! I opened my email the next 2 days and saw an email from her. I went berserk and announced it on Twitter. I beamed from ear to ear, I felt extremely over the top. Hahahah. I was so happy my favourite writer responded to my email! Wanna know what she said? Here's what she said.

Tara's Reply:

Hi Azura -

It sure sounds like you've got all the basic instincts of a writer! I often jot down dialogue myself. I'm thrilled that you love Skeeter Bang - she's a character very dear to my heart. The most important thing you can do for your writing, is to keep writing. The more you actually write, the better you will get. Try tackling a whole story, even if it's a very short one, so you can see how the beginning, the middle, and the end all get put together. One word of advice that is very important: Write the kind of stories you love to read. I know that sounds simple, but sometimes people miss that point. They like to read romance novels, but think they should write like Hemingway. I am delighted that you have loved reading about the Steele Street crew!

Hugs, Tara

Like omg I'm speechless. And her words of encouragement is so... well... ENCOURAGING! This inspires me to continue writing. Hahah. I have like a few stories in my mind, and I've already produced 2, in small blue notebooks. Right now I'm working on my 3rd story but this time, using Wordpad. I need to make full use of the modern technology! OMG I'm just so happy right now. =)

PS: Sometimes in life, you gotta stop paying attention to the negative things and start embracing the positive ones. Only then you can truly find your inner peace and learn to love yourself even when everyone else gives up on you. Writing makes me feel like I have something to accomplish. Something of my own interest and hopes and dreams. Reach for your dreams. Don't hold back. Go the distance and strive to be the best. Good luck. =)

2011-02-19T04:49:00.000-08:00

Let me list out the things I'm currently craving for and will always want. =)

1. That one perfect guy.

2. 14 points for L1R5 Olevels.

3. An iTouch from Apple.

4. A Cannon DSLR.

5. iPhone 4 with Twitter and Facebook.

6. Any phone with Twitter and Facebook.

7. A new laptop.

8. New clothes.

9. New heels.

10. A pair of Vans shoes.

11. To be taller.

12. To have my family back.

13. AhBoy back.

14. Food.

15. A life.

OMG.

2011-02-05T23:03:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I get it. I know I know. My Blogger is DEAD. I can't help it people! I'm busy with school, and other things! I am so sorry. =(

Ohkayy. Nowadays I've been really addicted to reading people's Tumblrs. I think Tumblrs are extremely cool to the highest level of Maximum. Hahah. Whatever is on Tumblr is so fcuking true and entertaining. Especially the little GIFs. A.K.A little animations. I'm officially addicted to alot of people's tumblrs. But I could never have my own cause if I did, it'll be dead because everybody be posting the same thing and I'll have nothing to post. So imma just stick and stay true to Blogger. It stayed with me. I can't betray it. =)

Okayy. So anyways... What's going on with me? Sighs. I'm heartbroken currently. All these while I thought the rumours were true and he DOES like me he just doesn't wanna say it. Cause the things he do, the things he say, I feel like he's just shy to admit he likes me. So I let it be. But a few days ago I got my answer. He doesn't. He flat out straight doesn't like me like that. He doesn't have feelings for me like I have for him. I'm pathetic I know. What's more hurtful is that he likes someone else. And I know this girl. Hell, she's a freaking close friend. And he's been liking her since before. I thought that was okay because sooner or later he's gonna realise that she doesn't feel the same way towards him and he'll move on. But I was wrong. She does feel the same way towards him. She's just a very complicated person that cannot make up her mind and she's currently on my 'Die Bitch' List. Urgh. I'm pathetic. And heartbroken.

Whatever. I'm moving on. I try not to feel anything everytime he looks at me. I try not to get butterflies in my tummy when he's THAT close to me. I try not to blush when he stares. I try not flutter when he smiles. I try my best, to STOP liking him. I gotta move on. She's my friend. He's my friend. I don't wanna be a bitch. I mean I am already a bitch BUT I don't wanna be that kind of bitch. I'm a loser. -.-

Oh well. This has been private all these while and I've never told anyone except Puma. She's the closest friend I have at this point. And I'm thankful that I at least have her. I love Puma. Everyone else is asking who I like cause I RARELY like anyone. But I said I will never tell them cause it's something that can NEVER be told. Okay enough. Azura, you're blabbering.

I realise my blog isn't as lively as before. Where I give deep insights on something, my own opinions and views, and stuffs like that. I'm sorry Readers. I've changed. I lost that Blogger touch quite a while ago. I'm not sure where it went. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm quiet, I'm secretive, I'm boring, I'm always angry, I'm always crying over little things. I guess I have too many things bottled up inside that everytime something happens I burst. Argh. I'm pathetic. And I'm outta here.

PS: If you wanna catch up with me, follow me on Twitter. You have to follow me cause I'm private and my Tweets are protected. I'm more active there right now cause it's like a quick blog. Then you can also ask me questions on Formspring. Any questions I don't mind. And of course, Facebook. But don't worry I'll still continue blogging though. I don't wanna lose my readers. =)

Twitter : TotTotAzura

Facebook: facebook.com/zurashawty

Formspring: formspring.me/Ahzuerah

M.I.A

2011-01-17T05:10:00.000-08:00

I understand that I've been missing for quite awhile. But no worries cause...

I WILL BE BACK SOON. =)

Let's talk about me.

2011-01-03T05:48:00.001-08:00

Hello hello hello there. How's everyone? I've time travelling back to those days reading my previous posts and I realised that I ain't the same blogger no more. I used to be cheery, no? Hahah. Oh well. I don't know wat happened in between. Not that I care, really. =)

Let's talk about me. I'm in the mood to talk about me. Like who I am, what I care and don't care about, what I'm made off and stuffs like that. Okay? Wanna do that? I wanna do that. So here it goes.

I'm Azura. I know some people don't like their names, but I'm not one of them. I love my name. 5 letters, begins with A ends with A. Short and simple. Just like my name, I am short for my age. I'm not so sure but the last time I checked, I was 145 cm. And I'm 15. Damn right I'm a shawty. And sometimes, I hate it. It's like people around you have to look down to talk to you, and I find it insulting. Just by that. But most of the time, I'm fine with it. I think short is cute. And someday, I WILL grow. I have a big butt. Yes and I'm not afraid to admit it. My big ass came from my paternal Granny. Came down to my sister, came down to me. And again, I don't mind cause I call it Bootylicious. ;)

I am Malay, and I am Muslim. I'm proud to be a Muslim. VERY proud. But I have to say, I ain't no typical Malay. First of all, I'm no Minah. I hate them. I think their a bunch of lowlives who try too hard. Because beneath all that Make-Up and dramatic eyebrows and crazy hair and tattoos, they're actually pretty. Same goes to the Matreps. Gosh these people embarrass me so much that I can't write a 8902613473857843 word essay on them without punctuations. I'm a very English person. I love books, I love movies. I'm obsessed with Western Culture. I love how the Western parents are so close and laid back when it comes to disciplining their children. I love theire school system, I love their countries. America, UK, Europe. And Spain. And France and Italy. Soo goddamn different from Asia. And I am downright jealous of it. So yes, I'm a VERY English person.

And one more thing that is very important, I don't care. I don't care about ALOOOOT of things. Like how I look, how I act, how I speak. Nope, I couldn't care less. I don't care what people wanna think, wanna say about me. I don't care who you are, if you're wrong, you're wrong. I don't care if you don't like me, that's your problem, cause surprise surprise, I don't like you too. And if I don't like you, whatever you do is NOT gonna make me like you. Digest that.

I'm very cool. Patient at ALL times. I try to work things out, I don't raise my voice, I breathe. I analyze things to the very last bit, and then I make a decision. And I can read body language very well. Not to mention, sometimes, I know what you're thinking. You can never fool me. I'm VERY smart. Not academically, of course. But when it comes to life stuffs, I'm unbeatable. Really, I''m not kidding.

I laugh alot. Cause my life is full of shit. When I laugh, I feel better. Laughing is always better than crying. I hate people who judge. Especially those girls going around saying ,"At a rate of 1/10, what would you give her?" That's just annoying and if you're unlucky, you get a slap from me. I hate that. Everyone is special in their own way. Who are you to judge? You're not perfect so just shut your trap. Teenage life is all about first times. First love, first kiss, and stuffs like that. So if you think you're perfect when you're in your teenage years, think again. You might not be when you're an adult.

I think that some people are so blatantly ignorant. They think they know everything. Trust me, they don't. They know shit. Don't trust anyone so easily, not unntil you've seen it with your own goddamn eyes. Really. Everyone wants the best for themselves. Yes, even the nice kids. Sooner or later they'll rebel and won't be so nice anymore. Seriously, I'm blabbering shit here. I gotta stop.

I got sidetracked. But whatever it is, bottom line is, if you don't know me, don't even dare to judge me. Like I said, even if you're a teacher and you say things that can blow my top, I WIIL blow my top. I don't give a fcuk if you send me to the DM or whatnots. I live for myself. Not for the people around me.

Thank you very much.

Love.

2010-12-27T04:43:00.001-08:00

I spent Christmas evening with Baby. After I got home from celebrating with the parents. I got home, texted him and waited. A few minutes later, I left my house and he was waiting at the staircase. I saw a bag. From the label I could tell what it was. It was a shoe box.

"You went shopping before coming here?" My expression was incredulous.

He was cool and calm. He smiled. Oh he smiled. His damn great smile weakened my knees.

"Yeap. And it's for you." He told me.

I was like whaaaaat?! He held out the bag to me. I looked inside, took out the shoe box and opened it. It was HEELS. Black and white with a ribbon on the front peep-toe heels. And I fell in love with it the moment I laid my eyes on it. I almost screamed. They were so damn pretty. I grinned from ear to ear as I looked up at him. He was still smiling.

"You are more than awesome. I don't know how to describe you anymore." I said.

"Just kiss me thank you." He whispered.

And I did. Goood God. He got me real nice heels for Christmas. I had no idea. And he's got GREAAAT taste. I fell in love all over again that evening. And right now, I'm head over heels with my Babe. I love love love you Honey.

The much anticipated bag.

Coming out.

Almost there.

Tadaa!

Love the height of it.

This was a purr-fect shot.

My very first Christmas gift.

PS: Whoo boy.

Suicide.

2010-12-23T05:36:00.000-08:00

I cried in the shower today. Non stop for about half an hour. I cried and cried. I felt so miserable. I was depressed. I was stressed. I was extremely sad. At that point I hated myself. I hated my life. I hated my family. I hated everyone, everything. I wished my sorrows would end. I didn't stop crying. I couldn't stop. ALOT of things were running through my mind. Its as if my world only consisted of black walls and nothing else. I was rooted to the ground. It was horrible.

That's when I turned my head to the right. What I saw made me even more determined to finish everything off. End the misery. I saw bottles of soap. Detergent. Softlan. Dynamo. Clorox. All I could think of shoving all types of liquid down my throat and... die. I couldn't take it. I was depressed. My mind went into haywire. I wanted to scream. Scream and scream and scream. But I couldn't. The parents were in the living room and they would hear me. I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing. I wanted to die quietly. Yes. I wanted to die.

I've seen, heard and even read about all the lucky people around the world. In the news, on Facebook/Twitter and even the people going about their daily lives just under my house. I instantly became angry. Angry because I was so jealous of them. I envied their easy lives, wishing I was one of them. I was furious because I thought How dare they're so happy without even putting an effort to achieve their happiness when I, tried my very best, tried my damn hardest, to find MY own happiness. I was in full rage. All I ever asked for was to be peaceful and have a happy life. Nothing else.

While standing under cold water, crying my heart out, staring at the different toxins right in front of my eyes, all I could think of was, "You've suffered enough. It's time to end this." I had 3 choices. Drink the chemicals, Put my head into the pail of water until I stop breathing, or live. I couldn't decide. My heart was insisting that I end my sorrows. But my brain was dead.

So I sat down on the slippery shower floor, in between my first 2 choices of suicide, and hugged my knees to my chest. I never stopped crying. My mind was blank. My chest hurt. My eyes stung. Thats when my gaze slid over to where my cat was.
Everytime I took a bath, I bring Tommie along. Because he loved the cold toilet floor, and I love his company while I cleanse my soul through showering. He didn't make noise. He'll stay there quietly, and he wouldn't get wet because I parted myself and him with the shower curtain.

While I debated with myself whether I should just die or I should live, I completely forgot he was there. And when I saw him, staring back at me, with a look completely understanding how I was feeling and what I was about to do, he took a few steps forward and started meowing uncontrollably, forbidding me from committing suicide and trying to get someone's attention from outside the bathroom. I closed my eyes.

That's when images started flashing through my mind. The first thing I saw was, my mother. I imagined how she would react when she saw me dead and lifeless on the bathroom floor. I imagined my father consoling her. And I imagined all hell breaking loose. My imagination ran wild as I saw the paramedics rushing towards and pushing me into the ambulance, my parentscrying helplessly, unable to take it that their daughter is dead. The paramedics tried to revive me back from the dead while we were on the way to the hospital. Then I imagined the doctors trying to save me. And when they realised they couldn't, I saw them telling it to my parents. They cried. They wailed. They whined. I saw brother holding the collar of the doctors suit, and I saw my sister, rushing in from the doors, saw what was happening and collapsed to the floor. Then I imagined my father giving the news to my relatives who are in Malacca right now, enjoying their holidays. I pictured my grandparents getting the shock of their lives, shaking with fear that they had just lost their grand-daughter. And then I imagined my friends. The worst part of it, I pictured my own funeral. Everyone was crying.

I opened my eyes. No. I didn't want that to happen. I loved all of them too much. I couldn't be selfish. I couldn't take the life that belonged to so many people. I can't and I don't want to die. Not yet. Not when I haven't accomplished what I'd always wanted to accomplish. I haven't travelled. I haven't gotten married. I haven't had my own children. I haven't had my own family. I haven't had a career. I'm only 15 for heaven's sake. No! I will not let my soul leave my body! That's when I heard Daddy's voice. "Oi what are you doing inside. Your grandfather called. Call him back later."

Immediately I wiped my tears and stood up. I was extremely dizzy. But I held my ground, steadied myself. I turned off the shower, wiped myself dry and covered myself in my blue towel. Then I pulled back the shower curtains and faced my saviour, Tommie. I smiled at him and said, "Thank you." He stopped meowing and looked back at me, almost saying, "Don't. People love you." And I said "I love you too." Carrying Tommie in my arms, I hugged him tight and got out of the bathroom, breathing the cold night air coming in from the window.

Truth is, I was lonely. I had no one to talk to, I became depressed. So depressed that I'd decided to take my own life. But He made me realise that it wasn't time for me to die. I have a whole life ahead of me, I can't give up. And blinded by all the emotions, I forgot my own advice. Patience is a virtue.

23rd December 2010, 8.00 PM, I almost killed myself.

PS: Treasure your life. Live life to the fullest. And patience is alwyas a virtue.

ASK ME

2010-12-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hey.

So it's been awhile since I posted about me. Apologies but I don't really have that time to post about me all the way. So here's a deal. You wanna know more about me, I've put up my own Formspring here on CBBC. It's just below the tagboard. So go ahead, ask me whatever you want. I'll answer truthfully, I promise. And I will not get offended or whatever, I'll deal with ANY questions. Be it personal, or sexual, I'll answer. Don't worry. I don't take things seriously. So go ahead. ASK.

Have a good day everyone. =)

PS: Who am I kidding. I'm currently so pissed I feel like committing a crime. Like murder.

THE ROCK FEVER.

2010-12-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

Okay. I am currently very extremely dangerously in LOVE with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Why? Cause he is smokin hot! I just can't take it! I'm soooo crazy about him and I never get tired of him. His charm, his sexy-ness, his gorgeous smile, his huge buff body all the way to his good looks. Whoo! I'm having a massive meltdown! This video is during those times where he was still in WWE. Lilian Garcia asks him about his big match with Goldberg. But instead of answering the question, he teases her because back in those days, he used to flirt with her cause he knows she has this thing for him. They're sooo cute! And I think they did 'it' before. It's so obvious. The chemistry and everything. Ahhh this video is one of the reasons I am currently madly in love him. So watch it till the end okay! It'll make the girls drool!

He's hot isn't he? And sooo damn flirtacious and cocky. He's my kind of man. =)))

DESARU.

2010-12-02T04:08:00.000-08:00

The parents and I, went to Desaru Golden Beach Resort on the 29th Nov to 1st Dec. And I gotta say, eventhough there were just 3 of us, I really had fun. My parents are the most sporting parents on this planet, I think. They were so casual and really fun to be with. And I was so comfortable there. So... Without further ado, I shall let the 3987524892456354 pictures do the talking. Enjoy!

Hello JB!

The extremely deserted SHOPPING MALL.

Got a few things to store in the mini-fridge.

Yours truly.

And then we had breakfast.

And we're off!

Oooh we're here!

We lived in 639. Mussaenda Villas.

Going about the area.

And then we decided to drive around and explore other resorts.Like Pulai Desaru Beach Hotel and Lotus Desaru Beach Resort.

Then at night we had dinner. It felt as if we were the only ones at the resort.

The next day we went swimming after breakfast. =)

And then we set out to The Ostrich Farm. (Read: Extremely cool facts about ostriches blew my mind. )

Then we went traveling the outskirts of Desaru for food. The cats were really just crowding around us, asking for food. So since I couldn't stand them begging like poor hungry kitties, I gave them the leftover cat biscuits from the car. And they ate happily.

The next morning we went jogging before breakfast. Look at the waves. They were damn big and scary. After that we checked out and headed back to Johor Baru.

Went to eat at The Manhattan Fish Market at Jusco.

These kids were just like cycling in the middle of the road.

So long, Malaysia.

And hello House.

And you guys. =)

PS: My fingers are numb.

Kimora Lee Simmons.

2010-11-27T05:17:00.001-08:00

I am having K.L.S fever. That's Kimora Lee Simmons fever. Ahh she's amazing. I just followed her on Twitter and I've never actually been a fan of her before. I've heard of her but you know it's one of those 'Oh she's one of those celebrities like the Kardashian sisters." I never really thought about her. Seriously, never. So after following her on Twitter, I went to find videos of her on Youtube. Gosh the first video already got me glued to the computer screen.

She's living THE life, people! She's such a diva, she's so fierce! I just love it. She's one of those women I admire that has her own business, makes her own money, works her butt for success. In fact she's now Second on my Favourite Women List, the First would be Beyonce and the Third would be Tyra Banks of course. She's in control, and she's just sooo damn amazing. She's a model, a designer, a TV personality, an Author, a Perfumista, married to Djimon Hounsou(Read: Google him if you don't know who he is.) and a fcuking MOM of 2 kids. Gosh How the hell does she deal with all that and still in in LUXURY?! That's just unfair. I'm so envious of her glamorous life. She's like the Queen of Fabulosity. Even better than Kim Kardashian and her curves. And to top it off, she's a ghetto Japanese+Black American. Cool, no? Here's little sneak peak of her and her aww-some life. (Read: I really liked the last part. "It really doesn't get any better than this. This is the epitome of Luxury.)

She's fierce isn't she? She's obnoxious. She's mean. She's a mogul. She's upfront and straightforward. She's Divalicious. And she's my kind of woman. I adore her. =)

Love is powerful.

2010-11-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

I had to blog this down. This video is so touching it melted my heart. I cried throughout the whole video because it reminded me of my lost cat, Boy. Here's the scenario in simple explanation. Read it first.

In 1969, 2 guys found a lion cub(Read:Baby lion) for sale. Seeing it so uncomfortable in the cage as it was cramped and lonely, the 2 men brought the lion cub home. Christian, name of the lion cub, was allowed to play about the church grounds but after a while he became too big for that place. So the 2 men brought him back to Africa, a lion's natural place, and left Christian there. 1 whole year later they came back to visit him but were told that Christian was now the leader of his own Lion Group(Read: Pride.)So he has become wild and he might not remember the 2 men. Without worrying about anything, they still went to visit him. After hours of finding the Lion Group, they finally found him. Christian looked at them for a while, trying to remember. Everyone was afraid he would pounce on the 2 men and eat or bite them. But the moment he recognised who they were, he immediately ran forward to hug his bestfriends. Pure love is proven just like that.

Now watch without caring about the words.

The moment Christian ran to his old pals, I cried like hell cause I suddenly remembered my own bestfriend, Boy. Eventhough he was a very naughty cat, he was so lovable and he made me smile all the time. He was there for me and he cuddles up to me everytime I silently cried in bed at night. Everytime I come home from school, he'll greet me at the door and make as much noise as he possibly can. He was a wonderful cat. I loved him alot. When everyone gave up on his unbearable naughtiness, I never did. I always talked to him, owner to pet, told him to behave everytime I left my house. He was my favourite, I have to admit.

Until now, as much as I enjoyed the Batam trip with the Sec 3s, I truly regret going for it. Because I didn't get to give a proper goodbye to him. When I read the message Mom sent me, saying Boy is missing, my heart fell straight into my gut. I teared up in public itself. The first thing that came to my mind was if he was in danger, injured, hungry, thirsty. If he was okay. If he was still alive, still breathing. If he was still here in this world. All I wanted to do was run back home and search for him till I found him. In the bus all I could think of was him, wandering about, lost and completely scared and unaware of his wareabouts. I didn't get to tell him how much I appreciated him being there for me and making me laugh all the time. Most of all, I didn't get to say how much I loved him.

I hope he's still out there, alive and happy, at least. And I hope that one day he'll come back to his old friend. Just like how this lion came back to his. I hope he'll find his way home and for the love of God, I hope I get to see him again. I just want him back. Please, Boy. Find your way home and come back to me. I really miss you.

PS: I need a big hug.

19th November 2010

2010-11-19T04:55:00.000-08:00

So! After numerous attempts on trying to get my friends to go out with me, I finally successed! Turned out that I still have some reliable friends after all! =) I had fun with them today. We initially wanted to watch Megamind. But the timing was off. So the only movie available was Unstoppable and Red. Oh and Harry Potter 7 but, I hate that so we didn't watch that. In the end we watched Red. It wasn't half bad at all. Humerous, and action-packed. A good movie in total. I'd personally give it a 4/5 stars. =)

Popcorn! Kaby was like, "I don't care you have to treat me Popcorn cause that day I treated you Nasi Ayam Penyet. With drink somemore!" And I was like aiyah whatever. Hahahah. So we bought 2 sets of Today's Special and everyone payed $4 each. (Read: Except me, cause I payed $8 for Kaby. -.-) Govind was so confused when everyone gave their money and at alast he was like "Okay now got too much money in my hands already." after everyone passed him the money. He was so freaking blur. Hahahah.

Then we went into the theatre and Kaby and Govind ran to the corner cause they wanted to sit there. Puma ended up sitting beside the stranger. Then there's Dinar, Me, Govind and Kaby. We fought over the popcorn. It was freaking funny. And I had a good time sipping off Coke from Govind's cup. Kaby looked over and said, "Dhey, you just see. She's gonna finish the damn Coke." And he grabbed the cup away from me. Hahahah.

On our way to The Cathay.

After the movie. Fooled around.

This picture looks like I'm going into this girl shop. - Kaby.

Met Jaafy and Shomir after the movie. Had KFC and headed home.

Puma's candid shot, Dinar's unsuccessful re-enactment. =D

No comments, Kaby.

Ahh so comfortable. I love my scarf.

Overall, it was a great day. =)

Anger management?

2010-11-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

GOD. No bloody words could describe how angry I am right now. No wait I'm not just angry. I'm fcuking pissed and ticked off. What the hell is the matter with them?! Blowing me off ALL the time! Excuses? Not sure, working, busy, overseas and sometimes even lazy. Goddammit. You know what? I don't even care anymore. When they've finally realised I'm still alive, I'm not invisible, then probably they should give me a call. Cause I'm ALWAYS available. *rolls eyes*

You guys. I'm sorry. Its just been a crazy year altogether for me and this holiday I wanted to just relax my mind with a bunch of friends, chill, hang out. Cause there's nothing for me at home. Parents and brother are working and I wake up like 2 or 3 pm in the afternoon every single day. And that is IF my alarm clock is not. If not, I don't even bother to wake up cause I feel like a zombie. I feel so lonely.

Get up, greet myself good morning, pretend someone - Daddy, Mommy, Brother - is in the living room watching TV. Then I'd get out of bed, take a full 1-2 hour bath just sitting under the shower most of the time. Then I'd go down, buy my own lunch, go back, watch TV/play computer whatnots. I feel like a loser. Sometimes I find myself talking to my own bloody self! I'm practically just losing it! Oh and then when my parents come home, I'm supposed to be happy cause finally someone at home with me, I'm not alone. But then they'll be tired from work, their patience, holding on by a thread and if I make a single mistake, I get yelled at! For no apparent reason. Every now and then I'm being blamed for their bad days. I don't fcuking get it.

That's the whole reason why I wanna get out of the house. You know, ge some fresh air and just enjoy myself for at least 1 day. Well that's not really the whole reason, but yeah. Part of it. All I'm asking for is ONE day. But of course some of my friends couldn't even take out 1 day for me. Wow I'm honoured. You know what? Forget it. Before I rant out all the profanity, I better get outta here. Cause right now, I'm more than just pissed off. I'm annoyed.

Holidays.

2010-11-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

Hey ho hey ho. I've been busy. If you are asking where I was. Not THAT busy. But... Alright I confess. I've been really lazy to blog. *innocent face* Teehee.

But here I am, no? Yeahh. I'm just wondering. Why nobody tagged my blog lately. Are there any visitors at all? I have no idea. Oh well, whatever. I blog because I want to. Not because I want fans. Pffft. Anyways, did I mention I just woke up? Yeah I just did. And I'm still sleepy. I woke up, took a really long shower. Like for a whole 1 hour I think. Nobody was there to bug me having my shower. (Read:Mom) So I took my own sweet time. Haaah. And I had a laaate breakfast. Not sure if it's still called breakfast. Gosh Azura. You're pathetic.

Anyways, a few days ago I went to the Library. And borrowed Tavel books. I was waiting for Momma doing her facial and massage so I went up and got like 10 Travel books like USA, duh? Then I took Rome, San Fransisco, California, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, London, New York and if I'm not wrong I took Spain. Oh yeah I took Portugal too. And I gotta say they're very informative and helpful for me in writing my stories. Cool cool. I borrowed only 4. New York, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and London. I told you I wanna travel right? Yeah I'd need to be familiar with the countries if I really want to. =)

So I've already 3/4 completing Story 2. And like I said, so far, so good. So yeah. I like it. And before school reopens, I vow to at least halfway complete Story 3 since I have a full month of nothing to do except sit at home and rot my arse off. Uhuh. But I don't know. I hope I can achieve my vows. I also vowed to grow taller by next year. Or if ot at least slim down a little. So that I won't look short. Heee. So. Yeap. That's about it.

Toodles!

Woohoo.

2010-11-01T06:45:00.000-07:00

Do you see it?

Here's the close up.

Wassup yaww. I am so happy right now. I'm going to 4 Express stream next year!!! I didn't drop to Normal Acad! And when my parents saw the words Promoted to 4 Express, they were like so happy. They didn't show it right there and then, but I could tell Daddy was like PHEW! Cause I heard him. Hahahah. Momma was so cute, she's so relieved. And as for me, I was just silently savouring the moment. I really thought I dropped cause like I said, my results weren't promising. I was so scared. But when I saw my result slip, I was so relieved and sent a silent prayer above. Thank you, to You. =) (Read: I'm all smiles.)

Okay so that's that. The next thing I wanna talk about is TOMEHLO. Yes people. I've created a blog for my cats. Hahahah do drop by and read their gossips about their life and everythig else. I think its so cute. I don't know. Hahah. I just felt like creating it. =) So anyways, yeah. Their link is right there on the Sweet Escapes. Go ahead and drop by. It's still under maintenance. So be patient if its a little boring. I'm still editing here and there to spice things up for their cute little blog. So there you go.

I'm currently pretty active on Twitter. I'm following alot of celebrities there. Its pretty cool. I have celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Tyra Banks, Bow Wow, Ciara and of course Ryan Seacrest. Hahahah. Its exciting to see them going about their lives not caring about what people think about them beig celebrities, Tweeting like normal people do. Its cool, ya know. Okay I think I've already mentioned that. Hahah. Alright whatever.

Hmmm. What else should I mention? I think that should be it. Yeah. Whoops, my cats are bugging me to get off the comp cause they wanna blog now. Its their new obsession. =p Alright alright. Ya'll get the comp now. But make sure you don't use it for so long. And please. NO obscene video-watching. Thank you very much. I'll come back to check on ya'll. Play safe, kitties. =)

PS: I think I'm going crazy. =.=

Updates.

2010-10-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

Heyho. What's up everyone? Alright so uhm. Actually I'm just in the mood to blog so here I am. These are just updates.

1. Visited my Sister-In-Law at NUH last Thursday. She was admitted to the hospital cause they found a cyst or something in her stomach. She looked so pale and scary. But now she's at home, recovering from her operation. Get well soon! =)

2. Went to Jaafar's birthday party yesterday at his house. Had fun playing games and bonding with my friends. Went home with Phine, Royce, Zuby, Kaby, Anis, Dinar and Govind. In the 88 bus, Govind was pretending to be the bus driver cause we were sitting on the double deck bus. Anis pretended to drive the bus with him, using the umbrella as the handbreak. They were fcuking hilarious and I had major sugar rush from Jaafy's cake so I was basically laughing like a bitch. So damn loud. Hahahahahah. You readers should have been there to witness it.

3. Painted my nails black today since its holidays and eventhough there's bridging next week, they're not gonna check for appearance and attire, so fcuk them. =)

4. Went to JB with the parents. Shopped at Giant. Buying 10 cartons of HL milk, cause my brother and I we love eating Koko Crunch. Bought 4 cans of Campbell Soup. Alright lets just say whatever we bought, it was as if there was an earthquake coming. -.-

5. I'm blogging now aren't I?

Alright. Gotta go. But before I go, Just wanna let ya'll know, I am sooo gonna watch this.

Comeback.

2010-10-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

Damn my fingers ache like a bitch. I've been busy uploading pictures on facebook and typing here and there for the past 2 hours. Whoo. Tired as hell. So hello! How long have I been missing? Hmmmm. Lemme count. 6 days? Wow. That's QUITE long. Alright I'm babbling. Whatever.

Notice the new song here? I am currently in love with this song. I think its really nice. It's Ellen Degeneres' favourite song too. =) Flaws and All. Has a very deep meaning. Beyonce always sings meaningful songs. That's why I love her.

Alright. So exams are over. BUT. Momma doesn't allow me to go out until she sees my results. And boy oh boy. She is gonna flip out when she sees my results. I'm sorry Momma. I tried. You wanna scold me, beat me up, go ahead But I just want you to know I tried. If you dont believe me, that's your problem. I really did try. So stop staying I didn't.

There's bridging for O-Levels this week and next week. I hope its fruitful and productive. Cause I really wanna make it to Poly. I dont wanna go to ITE or repeat O-Levels. For once I wanna give up thinking of what clothes to wear to school everyday instead of wearing UNIFORM. But you know what? I feel like pursuing my studies overseas. Singapore is so fast-paced and there's nothing much you can achieve here. I wanna be a Psychologist. But if that doesn't work out I wanna be a writer. Or an author. That'll be so cool. Remember I told you guys I'm writing short stories at the time being? Well the first one turned out pretty okay. And now I'm finishing my second story. And so far I'm doing okay. I really like thinkin of stories. I could be a scriptwriter, Zuby said. And there's no opportunity to be one, while I'm stuck here in Singapore. I wanna travel. I wanna see whats going on around the world. So that I could be inspired even more and that I could write better.

But the thing is, I don't have money. Even if I saved it would take me at least 2 years to get $1000. God I'm so stressed out. I'm like thinking outside the box eventhough I'm all secluded and stuck IN the box. Gosh I'm pathetic. Oh well. Dream on, Azura. I don't think you'll ever get the chance to go anywhere. All my hopes are down right now, readers. any advice?

PS: I just realised I don't hate you. In fact, I miss you. Why? Why did you do this to us? What did we ever do to you? I don't understand you.

Beyonce.

2010-10-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had to blog this down. Watch the video till the end please. Don't stop halfway. There's an unexpected ending. =)

Flaws and All

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
yes that's why I love you
and that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that's exactly what I mean.

She's just overwhelmingly beautiful isn't she? Believe it or not I cried after watchng this. It's just so touching when you see tears falling down her face when she sings. She has so much passion when she delivers any song. Be it emotionally or physically. It's just so amazing. And that's why I love her. Beyonce is so inspirational. And this, shall be my new favourite song. =)

Whoever.

2010-10-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

Dear everyone,

Please stop asking me how's my sister, what happened to her and stuffs like that. If you've read my previous posts, you would have realised that I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. I've already said she's no longer my sister. And she will never be until a long long long time. Or never at all. So quit asking me about her cause I'll just say, "Since when did I have a sister?" Why? Cause I hate her. Yes. I'm that mean.

So I seek your cooperation in not talking aboutthis bullshit cause it'll just open up old wounds. Thank you very much.

From,

Me.

**********************************************************************************************************

10.10.10

2010-10-12T00:32:00.000-07:00

Have you been waiting for the engagement updates? Hahahahah. Lucky you, today is the day. Woohoo!. Awwsome ain't it? Alright. I don't have much time. So I'mma just let the pictures talk. I will go in sequence. More pictures are at my facebook. Enjooooy!

Starting of the day. Conserving energy for the day. =)

Guests came and we started the prayers.

My cousin and I. She's 17 I think?

The engagement ring and the watch as a gift from him to her.

The cousins from Daddy's side. Our noses are ALL the same. =)

The 2 representatives from the boy's side. My Daddy's brothers.

The Family. I am proud of this picture.

Boarding the bus to the girls's side.

Going up to the girls' house and our hearts are thumping.

I love her. =)

Oh and remember John? The awwsome dude who's been by my brother's side since he was 13? The one in black is him. =)))

He looks happy doesn't he? He's no longer just a brother and a son. He's someone's fiance now. =)

And this is my most favourite picture.

Congratulations to the both of you for getting engaged! I just wanna say that Abg, you've grown so much and I realised that only AFTER I found out you were getting engaged. And seeing you so happy on the day itself touched me deep in my heart. Not only you. The whole family is happy for you. We've been through so much as a family and we've come this far. Same goes for your relationship. You've been together for what? 4 years? And you're still going strong. I wanna wish you all the best for your future, and hopefully, you last till eternity. Thank you for being the man of the family. Thank you for giving me an amazing sister-in-law. Thank you for goving me a sister that I never had. Thank you for being Momma/Daddy's son. Muhd Izwan Bin Ashari, thank you for everything. I love you, brother. =)

Study.

2010-10-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

Whoo sisnce 1st October I haven't blogged. Reason? My week was fully booked! Like I said, I 've been concentrating and focusing on studying and nothing else. That is exactly what I have been doing for the past 7 days. Sec 3s have been going for night study, from 6pm to 9pm. I feel like a polytechnic student coming home so late. Alright don't have to think so far. I feel like I'm doing my O Levels at this point. I never fail to come for night study. And I spend 11 hours in school. And less than that at home. I reach home, bathe, eat while watching TV with my parents and then I got to sleep. That's my routine since this Monday. And since today, school finished earlier, I decided not to go to the Sel-Study at 1pm to 3pm cause I'm farking sick and I'm tired.

I have been having flu, cough, headache, fever. But I endured and still attended school cause I told ya'll, I don't wanna drop to Acad. The consequences are ridiculous and I don't wanna bear them. So I am freaking studying non-stop so that I DON'T drop down to Acad. I thought of going to the clinic today, but momma isn't home so I thought forget it. The fever will pass.

Alright so this Sunday, my brother's getting engaged. I am soooo excited. And worried at the same time cause I have Maths and Social Studies exam the next day. So as soon as my guests leaves, I'm gonna revise. Hahahah. I hope everything goes well. I am sooo nervous. And very happy for them and myself. Hopefully in 3 years time I'm cuddling my niece/nephew in my arms. =)))

My parents are fantasizing about being grandparents already. And I have to admit, its cute cause Daddy was like, "I cannot wait to bring my grandchildren for cycling at the park." Hahahah. I know right? And momma sounded so excited. Kak Zizah! I want baby!!! Hahahah.

So there you go. Right now I'm gonna take a quick nap to regain my energy for tonight. Momma's gonna reach home soon from Geylang cause she went to buy the engagement stuffs with my aunts. So yeah. Hopefully she brings home food. =) Have a good day everyone.

PS: I might not blog again until the end of next week. So please don't expect anything when you drop by. Thank you for reading! Enjoy this video.

Hahah.

2010-10-01T03:24:00.000-07:00

Hello there! Hahahahahah. How long has it been since I last blogged? Woooowwww. Not that long actually. Okay lame. I know. -.- So uh... what's my current status? I'm at home, listening to my dad cursing and talking to himself cause he's adjusting the TV Channels and they're just plain irritating. Oh well. Patience Daddy. Patience. =)))

I just had a veeeeerrry refreshing bath. The cold water felt so damn good against the hot weather. And I washed my hair wih Sunsilk Pink, Yuko Yamashita, and godness knows how soft and nice it feels. It's been about an hour since I finished bathing, but I still feel fresh. That's why I love to bathe. I usually stay in the shower for like almost 1 hour plus, just to bathe. I'm not sure why I take so long but I think it's because the bathroom feels like a secret place for me to hide from everything and just simply calm, relax and pamper myself to the maximum. Eventhough my Momma nags, I can't really hear her voice while I'm in the shower so that feels awwsome. =)))

Alright so my family is busy with my brother's upcoming engagement. Which is on next Sunday, 10.10.10. Even me. I am freaking nervous cause I've never done this before. It's like I'm so nervous for my brother. I have no idea why. But at the same time I am soooo freaking excited. I don't know how the process and everything else goes so I am truly and extremely interested to know. I can't wait for it.

Okay I don't think I have anything else to say. I'm gonna get myself real busy during the weekends and next week. Cause my Year End Exam is coming and I swear I am definitely not prepared. Okay maybe Social Studies and a little of History and Biology, but I can't be complacent and not revise anymore. I have to study real hard, burn the midnight oil if I have to. And I don't care about any other things except my studies at this point. I'm all focus, focus, focused. So to those who have my number, please don't bug me if you don't have anything interesting to tell me. Or even better, don't bug me at all. Just tell me in school, or Facebook. Thank you very much.

PS: I wanna watch this movie so badly.

Exams.

2010-09-22T02:20:00.000-07:00

OMG. I am supposed to be putting my nose in my books right now and what am I doing? Facebooking and Blogging and Tweeting. Just so that my blog doesn't die and that you guys can continue dropping by. I'm such a considerate blogger. I know. =)))

So anyways. Exams are coming. And I'm going crazy. I am so far in catching up with the lessons cause in every lesson, whatever the teacher teaches me, it goes in one ear, comes out another. Why is that? Is that natural or not? Okayy. Whatever. I gotta buck up I don't wanna drop to Normal Academic. God knows the consequences.

Okay so whats next. Oh right. Last Sunday I went out for Hari Raya visiting with my Malay peeps. It was sooooo much fun I laughed the whole day. And coincidentally, I wore the same colour outfit as my ex, who still likes me. So yeah. Everybody kept on teasing us. It felt weird cause I don't like him, and he likes me. I think of him more like a friend than the boyfriend material. So I usually just smile and play along when they keep teasing. But truthfully, I don't have any feelings for him.

So the whole day was great. I love my Malay peeps alot. They never fail to make me smile. And I'm so thankful I have them. With all the stress going on, I rely on them to make my day a little bit better. Even with just a smile, it really makes me feel for confident and my insecurities goes away. So thank you peeps. =)

I gotta go. Before the parents come home, I must show them I AM studying and not lazying around the house. They don't trust me and they keep pressurising me. But you know what? I don't give a fcuk. I study for me. Not for them.

PS: I love me. =)

Minahs.

2010-09-17T03:27:00.000-07:00

I couldn't stand it so I decided to blog about it. I scolded a minah in the 804 bus today. And it felt good. This is what happened.

They were like all in the bus, going for Hari Raya visiting. They pissed me off real baaad. Firstly, they made ALOT of noise, like as if the bus is their father's. Then 2 of them were eating crackers. And since the bus was full, all of us were packed like sardines so there was this minah squeezing beside me. During the journey, she bumped me like 72371386712190375382064893 times. She was laughing like a stupid moron with her friends and she kept on bumping into me. I ignored her the first few times. Cause I don't entertain these people. But then I couldn't take it, I pushed her back and this was what I said.

"Eh minah, prangai takmo macam puki boleh? Pegang betol-betol takleh per? Ke nak kene ajar? Lagi skali kau langgar aku, dalam bus jugak aku tampar muke kau tau eh?"

(Read: Eh minah, your attitude don't be like shit can or not? Cannot hold properly is it? Or someone need to teach you? One more time you bump into me, in bus also I slap you I tell you.)

She went silent. All her friends did too. Why? Because they were all still primary school students. And after realising I'm older than them, they went totally silent and told me this.

"Sorry uh kak. Tak sengaje seh. Tkya marah-marah uhk."

(Read: Sorry uh sister. Accident what. No need to be angry uhk.)

My reply : "Sengaje nenek kau lah sengaje. Tak tawu malu pe korang prangai mcm ni dalam bus? And sejak bile bus ni bapak kau beli? Sedaaap je makan keropok?"

(Read: Accident your grandmother lah accident. Aren't you ashamed for behaving like this in public? And since when your father buy the bus? The crackers so nice ah?)

And they crumpled the wrapper and stop eating. I rolled my eyes and got down the bus. The end.

Rest.

2010-09-14T03:31:00.000-07:00

A break from every distraction would be good for me. So thanks for dropping by but you'll not hear from me again until exams are over. (Read: October.) UNLESS, I really feel like blogging. Thank you very much. Peace out.

Nurkhai Arina

2010-09-11T06:02:00.001-07:00

See that girl up there? Yeah. Today I'll be talking about her. Not because I want to of course. Because she told me too. Why on earth would I want to write about her? Puh-lease. Hahahah. Peace okay, Kental? Heheheh. So here we go.

Nurkhai Arina is her name. She's the same age as me. She's a girl. She's not that tall but taller than me. =p She's veryyyy friendly. She's super fun to be with. She's spontaneous. She's always laughing at my lame jokes. She's always smiling. She's also ALWAYS sleepy. Heh heh heh.

Arina Arina Arina. Hmmm. What else? She's sensitive also. But she doesn't have a fat ego. Just a little. Sometimes she's very blur. But it's sooo freaking cute and annoying at the same time. Hahah. Why I love her? Because she's outgoing and just great lah okay. She's easy to talk to. Arina is just Arina. No one can replace her. You can try but you won't succed. Cause she's too aww-some. =)))

There you go you arse! Nak sangat kan? Dah go and read. Read, smile, and go to sleep. Hahah. Alright I'm done here. Thank you very much.

PS: Just go to hell. That's where you belong.

Fasting.

2010-09-07T00:26:00.000-07:00

Watch this video. But before you do, I just want to say that it might be a little disturbing to those with sentimental hearts. Cause after watching it you might cry. So just a word of caution, prepare some tissues. Alright now watch.

Okay. How are you guys feeling right now? Did you tear up? Well let me tell you something. While I watched this, I challenged myself, don't cry. Try not to cry. But as the video went on, I couldn't control myself any longer. Cause it was heartbreaking, to watch these poor kids, almost dying because they were too hungry. You people know, that somewhere out there, around the globe, there are people starving to death, and dying from dehydration. But what do you do? Nothing. You know, you pity them, but you just stand there and do nothing. Why?

These people do NOT need your pity. They need your HELP. They're desperate for your help. And all they are asking for is food, water, and love. And here you guys are asking for new cellphones, new laptops, new cameras, new clothes, new everything. You guys are asking for unnecessary things while all these children want are care and concern. And there you are wasting food, wasting water, wasting time. Wasting your life. God. Why?

That is why I fast. You might think, "Okay these people are stupid? Fast for what? Crazy ah? Your religion doesn't make sense." Hah. Why we fast? Well you've watched the video. You tell me why we fast. You tell me the purpose and benefit of fasting. And you ask yourself, what are you doing for these poor kids?

Fasting is not about losing weight or whatever sh*ts. Its about caring for others and feeling how they feel. We fast less than 24 hours. In that time, we aren't allowed to drink or eat anything. And some of us are still complaining and most of us end up breaking fast before time. Your excuse? Cannot take it. WTF people. WTF.

The children are not fasting. They're starving. We fast, but we still get to eat after 7.00pm. But these children, if they're lucky, they only get to drink-not even eat- 3 days later. 3 days is 24 hours multiply by 3. Thats a whole 72 hours. And that is IF they're lucky. If they're not, they die. They die of starvation and dehydration. And still you people can dare to waste so much food and water? And still you Muslims can dare to break fast in the middle of the day and give a stupid excuse that you cannot take it? God.

I sound angry. I am angry. But not at you people. I'm angry with myself. Before watching this video, I've always thought that it's okay to break fast. You can just repay it next year. And to top it off, I broke my fast almost everyday on weekdays last year. MY excuse was... I'm thirsty. Right now I feel like slapping and kicking and beating the hell out of myself for thinking and doing those things. There people are dying, and here I am debating if I should break fast or not. I can even say, "If I'm too thirsty, I'll break fast." That was just because I had dance and I was tired. Oh my goodness. What was I thinking?!

So right now, here I am, pleading to all Muslims. Our religion requires us to fast for 30/31 days in a year. You guys have to treasure these 31 days because its the only time in the year that you can show Him, that you care. So stop giving pathetic lame excuses like how I used to, just because you wanna break fast. Fasting is good for you. Physically, mentally and spiritually. So please fast.

PS: And this goes out to everyone, not only Muslims. You have to be grateful and treasure everything that is in your possesion. Cause each time your asking for more, there's always a child out there, on the verge of death, just because God was too busy giving you what you want, instead of what the poor kid wanted. (Read: Which is just some plain water.) So please. Be appreciative.

Thank you very much.

Stories.

2010-09-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

Hello there. Okay my previous posts have ALL been about movies. I love movies, so that explains it. I've watched like 3 movies in one day. When I have nothing else to do of course. Heh. So anyways, some of you have already known that I love writing stories. I buy tonnes of blue notebooks and write my stories in there. I don't really know where these stories come from. There will just be dialogues popping in my head and I end up creating a whole scene, IN my mind. So being afraid of losing these dialogues, I pen it down, and I then realise it turns into a story. So I have like 5 different stories in my head. Story 1 is already done. I've let my friends read it and they wanted MORE. So be patient people. Story 2 is on its way. Hahah. Oh by the way, my stories don't have a title. Just Story 1, 2, 3 and so on. Here's a synopsis on Story 1.

2 main characters. Fransisca and Ricky. They like each other. But they're keeping it inside. Fransisca is smoking hot, Ricky is the school's hottie. The whole story evolves around them. Fransisca dealing with the pressure of admitting she loves Ricky, and the fact that her mother, whom she had run away from is suddenly checking on he after 3 long years. Then Ricky, is dealing with how he deeply in love he is with Fransisca, and afraid that she doesn't love him back and also the fact that his parents are keeping something from him. In between there will be other characters like Amy and Ben, the troublesome couple who's debating about having sex or not. Then there's J-J AND Lisa, the cutest couple in the whole story, who always, teases, Ricky and Fransisca. 5 books in total. So if you wanna know what happens to these people, you can email/text/tag/ask me personally.

Story 2 is on its way. I'm writing the very dramatic part. 10 books in total. And I'm writing Book 7. Don't worry, by the end of the year, ya'll will know what Story 2 is all about. Other stories are still being thought of. The dialogues for other stories keep running through my head. So I better hurry with Story 2 if I don't wanna lose these scenes.

That's all for today. I gotta go to sleep now, since I have dance tomorrow from 10 am to 1.30pm. I'm kinda okay with it, I ain't complaining cause since its fasting month, dancing helps to lose weight. I HAVE to lose at least 2/3 kg before this Friday. =)))

PS: Sleep well, sleep tight.

Sweet dreams, and Goodnight.

(Read: A poem I used to say to Bunny[rabbit] every night. God I miss him.)

2010-09-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

Alright. So last Saturday I went into Johor Bahru with the parents. Gosh how I hate being there. You guys think Singapore weather sucks? Well Malaysia's weather sucks more. Especially JB. No trees!!! Damn hot lah! Okay cut it.

Went there and shopped the whole day. Bought like 10 pirated DVDs. And I gotta say, the quality is good. I got The Last Song, Karate Kid, Drag Me To Hell, The A Team, The Uninvited, Ironman, other Malay DVDs, and........... SALT! OMG I love the freaking movie!!! Its goooooood. The stunts are soooo freaking cool. You guys have got to go get it and watch it. Angelina Jolie is an amazing actress. I love her.

It has a really unexpected twist at the end. And almost 3/4 of the movie shows her running for her life and doing cool things to save her arse. The movie is about her, obviously. And throughout the whole movie you will think, 'What is she? CIA Agent or Russian Spy?' Then your head will argue with your instincts. Hahahahah. Its real gooood. Heres the trailer.

Movie.

2010-08-31T02:44:00.000-07:00

Alright. I just reached home from a really tiring day. This morning had dance performance for the Teachers' Day Concert. Then after school, slacked with the girls and guys. Watched the amazing thing that happened to Zuby. =) Then as the girls left for ceramics, I hung out with Puma, Dzul and Kabby. We joked and laughed about Rosnani. Hahah. Then Kabby had to home, so there were only 3 of us left. We talked about alot of things. Both deep and not-so-deep. We laughed like crazy. We judged anyone that passed by us. Hahah. Classmates are like that people. When the art students got dismissed, Me, Puma, Nat and Dzul went to catch Grown Ups(Read: Poster up there.) at Golden Village Junction 8. It was hilarious. You guys should seriously go and catch it. It wasn't disappointing at all. The movie was freaking funny. Okay what am I saying. Of course its funny. Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are starring in it. Duh? Hahah. Well, go watch it. It's worth the money.

Anyways, I just wanna rest. There ain't no school tomorrow so I can sleep my arse off the whole day. Phone will be on silent mode, I don't give a sh*t. Have a nice day everyone. =)

Step Up 3D - Official Trailer [HD]

2010-08-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

Gone.

2010-08-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

Alright so how long have I been Missing In Action? Hmmm. Quite long huh? Okay fine. I've been really busy with alot of things last few weeks. Last Saturday was the Opening Ceremony of YOG 2010. As many of you know, I performed in the Welcome Dance. It was a success. And yes, I truly miss YOG. The whole thing. As in the havoc, the people, the food and the dance itself. And its so unfair that my school got to perform the Closing Ceremony, but I on't. Hrmphf. Whatever. Anyways, I had lots of fun that night. =) Here is one of the pictures I took with my friends.

Hamizah and Me. (She's Sec 2. And i'm Sec 3. -.-)

Okay next part of today's post. =)

Yesterday, I went to catch Step Up 3 at GV in Bishan Junction 8 with Phine, Royce, Zuby, Kabby and Jaffy. I have to say it was quite a disappointment from the previous Step Ups. I expected it to be better. The storyline was always the same. 2 different people meet and fall in love when they dance, then they form a crew, battle for a major dance competition, then conflicts arise and they astray from each other. Then at the competition itself, they somehow get together again, dance and win. So after watching the similar stuff from Step Up , Step Up 2 : The Streets, it got boring for me, because somehow I know what was gonna happen next. So yeah, Step Up 3's storyline/storyboard didn't go quite well with me.

HOWEVER, I have to say. The dancing in it was phenomenal. It was so exciting to watch them move and do their thing. Its like they LIVE to DANCE.Their movements make me go crazy cause I wanna be like them! I was so amazed during all the dancing parts of the movie. And yes, the dancing in this Step Up, was much much much better than the previous Step Ups.

And the characters. Aaaahhh. Rick Malambri, Sharni Vinson, Adam G. Sevani and Alyson Stoner. OMG. They all have a style of their own. Rick Malambri, plays Luke. Sharni Vinson plays Natalie. Adam G. Sevani as Moose and Alyson Stoner as Camille. And I especially love the red-haired girl also. I love her whole complete 'Pirate' look and her dancing. I think she dances waaayyy better than Sharni Vinson. Ahhh. And the 'Robot' guy. His moves are SICK! Damn. Really looked like a robot when he dances. I love love love the casts.

Storyline : Moose and his bestfriend Camille sets off to New York University, majoring in Electrical Engineering, after promising his parents that he'll stop dancing after the MSA crew won the Streets Competition back in Step Up 2. Soon, Moose meets Luke, and the House of Pirates crew, where he teams up with them to battle for the biggest dance competition ever, the World Jam competing against the House of Samurai. In between Moose has to juggle his friendship with Camille/Studies and his new crew. But Step Up 3 is not always about Moose. Its about Luke and Natalie. Luke loves film-making. He gets his ideas from watching people dance. Luke meets Natalie, a very sexy dancer and then they fall in love with each other. But, as the story goes on, Luke is soon betrayed and then the House of Pirates finds that they have nowhere to go because their warehouse was locked up for sale. Will they make it for the competition? Watch it you guys.

I'm sick.

2010-08-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what to type here. Seriously. I look at the blank space and my mind goes blank. Okay fine. Every now and then my mind ALWAYS go blind nowadays. Oh whatever.

I guess I'm here tonight, cause I'm... I'm sick and tired of this. When will it ever end? I don't understand. If "you're" reading this, let me ask you. When are you coming home? Are you EVER gonna come home? What are you? You have a family, don't you know that? Are you awake? Or are you still in your pathetic little dream hoping for someone to come and get you and rescue you from this nightmare? You do realise that you are on your own right? Or you still don't? Gosh what is wrong with you? You think 'he' loves you? If he does, he would've asked you to come home. Hell. If he did, he would have brought you home himself. What the hell is wrong with you? He doesn't love you like we do! He only cares about nothing but himself. You think you can get married and live a happy life with him? You think he will make you happy? Gosh. He has done NOTHING but bring you sadness after all these years. And you don't realise that do you? Oh wait. I bet you do. You're just too big of a coward to admit it.

You have us. Me, most importantly. You know I've always got your back. I stand up for you whenever I can. When everyone turns their back towards you, I don't. I believe you can change. I do. I've been nothing but patient everytime you're being a bitch. You can never have any other sister better than me. Trust me. I know myself. And I used to know you too. But right now, I feel like I don't anymore. You're a complete different person. I don't recognise you as 'her' anymore. Gahh. Whatever. I'm wasting my time. You obviously don't care. Go. Go and do whatever you want.

But you better realise that I will always be here with my arms wide open, waiting for you to come back. You're my sister and I'll never give up on you.

Ooohh.

2010-07-28T02:16:00.001-07:00

BABY BOY YOU ARE SO DAMN FINE.
I LOVE YOU. =)

Sick.

2010-07-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

I threw up 3 times today. Early morning, in school and also 15 minutes ago. What is wrong with me? I'm not pregnant. DUH? I've never done it before okay! I'm still a virgin and I will always be until I'm married. So why amI throwing so many times? Is it due to empty stomach and super lack of sleep?

PS: Arent you ever gonna come home?

Bored.

2010-07-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hello. Goodmorning. So I'm currently in school. Having D&T again. Gosh. I swear there's nothing to pay attention for in here. All he does is talk. And at the end of every lesson we all keep asking each other what we're supposed to do. What is wrong my my school? Urgh.

Anyways I don't have anything to say. I'm just bored. Dzul and Afiq are Facebooking their arse off. The rest are busy finishing up their assignments. Areena and Puma are in different classes but I bet their having fun. Anna is absent from school. I'm still not sure if I should go for dance or not. My head is spinning. Probably from yesterday. I can't walk properly. I have no energy. Okay they're right. I have to stop it. It's making me distracted in class.

PS: I miss you.

Mixed feelings.

2010-07-16T01:45:00.001-07:00

Hello how do you do. I hope you're doing fine. Cause I'm definitely not. Sighs.

Its been a tough tough week for me. Hell. It has always been tough for me. Am I abnormal? Other people seem so happy with their lives. And I am like 24/7 cursing mine. Why is it so different for me?

Everywhere I go. People smiling and laughing here and there. Friends are like goofy-ing around in buses, trains, sidewalks, etc. Families having dinner together. Sisters shopping for shoes. Mothers and daughters buying clothes together. Fathers and sons watching soccer. And there I am all alone in one corner watching all these things taking their time passing by me. Why is it so unfair?

I am not sulking that my life sucks. Cause I don't want to be another sad whiny girl complaining about how badly life is treating her. I'm not like that. I'm very thankful for what I have. I am. I'm blessed with 2 parents. I'm blessed with 1 sister and 1 brother. And I have a good sturdy cosy house to shelter from and also food on the table always. The girls are wonderful friends for life. My cats are healthy. I'm healthy. Okay not so healthy but at least I'm not disabled or blind or disfigured. I can see I can smell I can talk and hear and touch and whatnot. What else could I ask for?

But if I had a choice, I think I'd rather be one of those kids in the orphanage. They don't have parents like me. But they seem to be so happy where they are now. If I had a choice, I'd rather be one of those poor kids in Indonesia or India. Even if they don't have wealth, they're all so loving towards each other. I feel like these not so fortunate people have much more than me. I don't care if I'm stranded on the streets. At least I know I have parents and siblings who love me.

Sometimes I think people like me, we take things for granted. Okay not sometimes. ALL the time. When I was in Batam, and I visited the local school there, how I wish I was 1 of them. What's the use of having a perfect family that is not perfect? These kids they are so lucky they weren't me. My family is so not perfect. I don't even feel like it's a family anymore. I feel like all the time I come home to a lonely and sad house. If I feel sad or something, I can't tell anyone. Nobody to talk to. Cause my parents are working and when they do come home, they're always too grumpy to talk properly. And I'll end up swallowing all my problems back into my guts. And then eventually cry it out while going to sleep.

And yet people still ask for more. I don't care about wealth. I don't. Cause it has done nothing but bring me misery all these years. Believe it or not, I HATE MONEY. I can't stand why people always treat it like its the end of the world if they don't have money. Money doesnt buy everything. I have money but still I'm a sad teenager. Why? Because I get no love. That's the most important thing in life. Not money. Gosh.

If you can't love, you can't have good life. Is that true or what?

PS: Please just forget this if you finish reading. I'm just shitting around. I'm in a crappy mood lately. So just flush everything down the drain please.

Emotions.

2010-07-13T03:54:00.000-07:00

I am shocked.
I am pissed.
I am sad.
All I wanna say is what the fcuk.

Thank you very much.

School.

2010-07-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Okay I'm in school right now and I have 3 minutes before the bell rings. So I'mma make this short.

1. Been super busy with Oeuvre V so I have no time to go on the computer.
2. Okay that's just part of the reason, the next part is that my computer is being a bitch! The monitor is just blank with a white arrow there. Urgh.
3. I hate my D&T teacher. Whatever he says, I don't understand a freaking thing.
4. Oh we have 2 new students in my school. 1 is a transfer from my class. Another is Phine's family friend's daughter from Germany. She's super nice.
5. I'm done. =)

Gotta go!

Busy.

2010-06-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Hello there.
It had been a hectic week. And I've been so caught up with alot of things these last few days. So I'm tired. I am. But I can't stop now. Got performances coming up. Add in retests of SA1 and more new topics to digest for the next few weeks before SA2. Sighs.

Last week before school reopened, we had dance. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday ad Friday. Everyday from 10 am to 6 pm. I didn't go for Monday cause I wasn't feeling well. Okay who am I lying to. I didn't want to go. Among the reasons were laziness. And I also didn't turn up on Wednesday, cause I had dance practice somewhere else.

Then Sunday night, I went to watch The Karate Kid with Mom. It was a great movie. Thumbs up. ratings 4/5 stars. I loved it. After the movie went home to pack my school stuff. Honestly, I didn't want to go to school. I wasn't ready to see my schoolmates and my teachers yet. and 2010 hasn't really been a great year for me. I just felt like staying at home and sleep and become obesed for the rest of my life.

But I gathered my guts and I got out of the house the next morning. Lessons went on as per normal. Maths sucked even more, and English, well. The iCast thing is so not helping. And most Sec 3s agree with me. I don't know what the hell the English teachers were thinking. I hate it. Makes our legs cramp, our backs pain and our necks sprain. How do they even expect us to pay attention with all the distraction? Gosh. Teachers nowadays are simply full of crap. Oh and my Chemistry teacher is Mrs Guan again. So yeah. That sucked real bad.

So then after school went for dance. Yesterday I had dance. Mainly everyday except Friday. Cause our Oeuvre is coming and we HAVE to put on a good show. Or not its embarrassing. We've been practicing and working our butts off in the stuffy school hall and tiny dance studio. Alright so that's done.

This morning I woke up at 7am. I knew I was late cause there was no way I was gonna reach school by 7.30am. But I eventually made it. Daddy sped through the traffic lights and overtook the slow arse drivers on the road. So I did reach school at 7.30am. Oh and did I mention I saw Cikgu Djohan? Yes Cikgu I saw you on your bike at the junction from Lentor to Yio Chu Kang. =) And I know now that you read my blog. Hahah.

So currently I'm in my room typing this out while my parents are outside watching TV. Alright may just my dad. My mom's in her room. Doing Gawd knows what. I don't really want to know. I'm still not in a good mood after the last two entries. Especially now that my brain is swamped by the pressure of Gawd forsaken hard ass topics that are coming up, I still can't stop thinking about what Momma said to me. And to top that off, Daddy agrees with her.

Goodnight.

Sisters.

2010-06-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hey. I watched this yesterday. And it got me weeping like a baby. You guys should watch it. It's really sad and touching. It may be slow, but the story gives meaning and it teaches everybody a lesson. It taught me a lesson. Cause when I watched it I was home alone and it got me crying from the bottom of my heart. With regards to my own personal experiences and what I'm going through at this point of my life, this movie made me cry more than 5 times. I'm gonna bet that eventhough some of you are not those type that cry in a movie, when you watch this by yourself, believe it or not, you will tear up. And whether you want to acknowledge it or not, that is your problem. Just watch it. Its real good. =)

Here. Watch the trailer.

90210.

2010-06-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hey hey. So I've been coming down with flu and cough lately. The whole week actually. And I'm not getting better. At all. But 1 thing for sure, I like hearing my own voice cause it's so husky and low. Hahah. Weird. I know.

Alright. Currently, I am in love with 90210. When the first episode came out on Channel 5 last week I didn't get to watch cause I was sleeping. And I've seen the advertisements so I checked it out on Youtube. And I got hooked. Right now I'm watching Episode 13! Gosh. So dramatic. Very American. Always a twist in the end. Very entertaining. And it's so much better than Gossip Girls, trust me. I am simply in love with it. Check it out on Youtube when you get the chance to.

I am also in love with the characters. They can really act. Not like some actors, so awkward. You know? Yeah. Check it out. Alright I'm out. Goodnight!

PS: I finished my story girls! Working on a new piece already. Heads up! =)

Irritation.

2010-06-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

This post. If you want to read, go ahead. But I'm warning you, it'll get boring. It's gonna be LOOONG. So bear with it. After all, I blog to express, not impress. So here I go.

Currently, my spirits are down. I have no mood most of the time, my appetite is growing and my body is telling me to sleep every second. I don't know. I'm just super tired. So tired that when I'm staring into space, I literally doze off. Yes. Especially when I watch TV. In the car, in the train, in the bus. At home. At dance practice. But I'm not doing anything major. Just little bit of dancing here and there. And yet I'm so tired. Over-fatigue, Phine would say. Oh she's back by the way. And we're planning to go Gym and work that extra flesh off. =)

Alright so about the my spirits are down thing, this is why. Not entirely why, but briefly. My parents have been nagging non-stop about my studies lately. Cause the other day, School called my father to come and take the results cause the VP wants to discuss my progress so far. Daddy got angry cause it was like wasting time, just coming to school, listen to the arsehole smelly face talk to him here and there and then they're done. So he dumped all his anger on me. Saying that if I had passed, he wouldn't have to stop work and come to school. I understood his pain and troublesome-ness. But I couldn't stand it when my mom brought up the subject of me, failing cause my new classmates and Drama have been a distraction.

Bullsh*t. That's who my parents are. They can never face it that whatever happens in my family, all of it isn't their faults. All the problems we face, they got nothing to do with them. They are forever right. Never wrong. Especially Mom. I don't know what she's thinking most of the time. She's always and non-stop blaming me for all the little things that happen. I don't get it. And guess what she said when she saw the results? She said, "Kalau kau masok Acad tahun depan, aku suroh ayah kau masokkan kau Madrasah sudah. Tak payah nk buang mase lagi 2 tahun kat secondary school. Ibu tanak nanti jadi macam kakak kau. " (Read: If you drop to Acad next year, I will ask your father to put you in a religious school. Don't have to waste time in Sec. Sch. for another 2 years. I don't want it to later become like your sister. )

For goodness sake! They made one mistake in the past and they're implying I'm gonna be another mistake?! Fcuk that larh ohkay! I know what I'm doing. I know what's right and what's wrong! As parents you should be guiding me along the way to my success instead of bringing my hopes and my dreams down by saying irrelevant things like that! I have dreams. I have BIG FAT HUGE ENORMOUS dreams. And with you saying these things, you're shattering those dreams into teeny weeny tiny small pieces. How can you not realise that?! You're hurting me. Indirectly but you still are! Everyday I hear you go on about how the situation will be if I ever drop to Acad. Give me fcuking break! I have had enough from teachers nagging them stuff and I don't need them from you! I know what will happened. And I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF IT!!!!!

Bullsh*t.

PS: I'm pissed.

Competition.

2010-06-09T01:28:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

So yesterday was the Drama Competition. And I have to say we did a good job as a team. We were nervous as hell. But finally, we got over it and did it. Let me relate how it went.

1. Reached school at 8:15 am with Arina and Illy and found Ain and Atiqah stranded outside the dance studio cause it was still locked.
2. We waited for a while then Kak Azyra came and opened it. She told us to bring out our props and take it to the bus.
3. So we did, and when everything was settled, we got on the bus and made our way to Tampines Primary/Secondary School. Me, Arina, Illy, Puma, Ain, Atiqah, Kak Azyra and Miss Karyl Lin in one van. And Abg Wandi and his wife Kak Lyn in another.
4. When we reached we had to register in and take our passes. We put all our props in the changing room. Then sat down while waiting for Cikgu and the Rest to arrive,
5. Soon, Cikgu Djohan, Boy Tangge, Adam, Abg Tali'b, Abg Isa, Kak Liyana arrived and we did a once-through while Siglap Secondary watched. After we're done, the adults except Kak Azyra and Ms Lin went off to get the rest of the props and get food for us.
6. While waiting, we watched Siglap Secondary and Choir do a once-through, guided by Sani Hussein. Yeah he's fierce. The girls were so shocked. Hahah.
7. Waited and waited and took little naps in between with Puma and Arina then the adults finally arrived back at 1:45 PM with the props and food.
8. We made our way to the Changing Room to eat our lunch. After we were done, we went straight for make-up and hair and costume change to get ready for our turn. I had to change into Adam's 2002 dikir barat costume. Hahah.
9. Put on thick eye-liner and blusher and helped Ain here and there and fooled around while waiting.
10. Ain, Illy and Abg Isa as well as Kak Liyana were busy practising their lines. While Arina was guided by Abg Talib again and again for her Kude Kepang scene. Then Boy Tangge and Adam were just walking in and out all the time. Cikgu was busy watching Siglap. Kak Lyn and Abg Wandi were in the changing room discussing their acts. So since I had nothing much to do, all I did was disturb everybody with Puma, cause she was the Stage Manager and she had no LINES to memorise.
11. Then when it was about to be our turn, we took several group photos together and just kept on laughing posing. Damn I miss those times.
12. So finally, it was our turn. Everyone took their positions, and before we know it, everything was going smoothly except certain parts but we cleared them all out. I had to do 2 roles. So after I did my dance for my 1st role, I went to change into my blue checkered gysy long dress and got ready for my turn again.
13. Soon enough it was all over. The hard work and practices. All done. Hahah. So we cleared our props and changed out. We then sat outside on the stage again to pack everything as Cikgu talked about how grateful he was to everybody for sacrificing their time for this drama,
14. Then he offered to treat us all at Bali Thai restaurant at Tampines Mall. So me, Illy, Ain, Puma, Arina, Atiqah and Kak Azyra walked to Tampines Mall since it wasn't a long walk. So while waiting for the boys to arrive we walked around.
15. When they arrived we made our way over and took our seats and placed our orders. We had this seafood cuisine just as Ala Carte and joked about with Cikgu being there.
16. After we were done eating and laughing, Cikgu paid for the food and we bid farewell to them.
17. Then Arina and me and Puma walked around like 3 idiots cause we didn't know where to go.
18. So in the end I bused to Yishun with Arna cause they had the Dikir meeting at Nee Soon while Puma trained home for her medicine. It was a loooonnng journey home but I managed to still breathe as I reached the door to my house.
19. Took a warm shower from head to toe.
20. Then called Atok and headed to Dreamland.

Alright. There you go. The results will be this Friday at Tampines Primary/Secondary again. So all the best to us! Till I blog again! Take care!

PS: We're not together anymore. We've decided to call it quits. But we're still in good terms. We didn't break up in a "I'm gonna hate you forever!" way. We broke up cause we realise it wasn't a good timing. He's really packed with O-Level schedules and I've been busy with alot of things on my hands. We don't have much time for each other. So we decided, to let ourselves go. Its better this way. Enjoy each other's company but not in a relationship. We're friends. And we do love each other. So, yeah.

Another day gone.

2010-06-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

Alright hello readers. I've been real busy running errands and going to school and all that. Right now I'm just resting and chilling cause I have Drama Competition tomorrow at Tampines. And we've only practiced less than 2 weeks. So hopefully we do good. Cikgu brought in outside people to act with us. And so far everything's so good and I'm having fun. Like lots of fun. At the ending I have to do a flirting scene with Boy Tangge. And he's so freaking geram nk cubit pipi! (Read: Frustrated cause I want to pinch his cheeks. ) Hahah. Alright. Enough. Sowie baby. Heheh. He knows I'm in this though. And he was jealous at first but slowly he got used to it. So I'm free. My baby is really understanding, That's why I love him. Yesterday was our 1st Month together. And I felt like I just met him yesterday itself. So yeah.

The girls are all over the world right now. Phine is Germany, Nat and Zuby in Vietnam. Except Anna, but I don't get to spend much time with her cause she's been busy with work and catching up with Freddie. So Right now I'm always with Puma, Areena, Illy, Ayien and Cikgu Djohan. Hahah. I miss my girls like hell eventhough I'm having so much fun here with my Malay peeps. So hopefully they're having fun too. Alright.

Got a loooooong and exciting day tomorrow and the day after and the day after and it goes on until forever. Cause I'm busy with YOG and whatnots. So till I blog again, thanks for dropping by. Have grrrrreat sleep night young and mature beings. =)

PS: Can you fetch me this Saturday baby? *widens eyes*

Updates.

2010-05-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hello there. Just updates.

1. Went over to In-Laws'house to ask for hand in marriage. While the adults talk, my future-sister-in-law and me played with her kitten. She loves animals too, so that's aww-some.
2. Didn't have practice last Saturday, so went to the library with Momma. Borrowed alot of books for the holidays.
3. On the same day, went to settle Brother's new bike at the workshop. It is huge people! I love it. It's big and black and bold and beautiful. Hahah.
4. Then yesterday went over to my 1st Uncle's house, from Daddy's side. Told them about the engagement and everything. Then watched The Incredible Hulk with my 3 girl cousins. I miss them so much!
5. On the same day, went to my 2nd Uncle's house, to give them the news. And then had luch at their place. Spent time with my cousins there too. Then headed home.

So today, daddy's not working so I'm currently at home with him. I woke up at 12 PM I think. Hahah. Okay boring-ness is heading it's way over here in a couple of minutes. So before I go, just wanted to say that I miss my girls. =)

PS: We're on a break. No not a break-up. Just on a break. He's busy with O-Levels and I'm busy with my brother's engagement. So it's a time-out.

Birthday.

2010-05-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

Hello hello. Alright. So finally today I'm gonna be posting about what happened on my birthday aite? Alright so here it goes.

18th May-
I arrived in school and everybody was like saying Happy Birthday and hugging me. Hahah. Phine gave me a Diva set of bangles and a really pretty 'Faith' necklace. Then her, Zuby and Nat went for their POA exam while I go out of school to meet Anna. We went to Bishan Park while waiting for them to finish their exam cause Anna and I didn't have exam that day. See? I'm such a good friend - wake up in the morning just to spend time with my girls. Hahah. Then Anna gave me a pair of fancy earrings from Marks and Spencers that looked so grand I loved it. So Anna drew me, as we talked and sang songs from my MP3. I had so much fun with her. When Phine called, we made our way back, and bused to Royce's block to 'fetch' him. Then we walked all the way to Marymount Station to send Anna cause she was meeting Freddie at Paya Lebar. Then the rest of us trained to Junction 8, had breakfast at Mcdonalds and headed upstairs to watch The Last Song. I swear the movie was tearful. I cried through the 2nd half of it. But I hate Miley Cyrus' acting. Sorry fans. The movie was not bad. I'd give it a 3/5 rating. Go ahead. Watch it.

After that I headed home and got ready to meet baby. Uhm I shall not disclose any information here cause those who are close to me already know the two surprises he gave me that night. It was so sweet and romantic, I swear. =)

21st May-
Alright I did not expect it to turn out the way it did. The girls and I, we planned to go to Singapore Botanical Gardens(SBG) for a picnic. So we planned and I ended up going there with Anis cause the rest of them had the SC Forum Meeting. I met him at Toa Payoh Interchange and we bused to SBG. We missed one bus stop so we had to walk all the way back. Then when we arrived, we waited for Phine and Royce to fetch us cause we would be lost if we walked alone. Walked and walked, suddenly when we reached the top of the steps of the staircase, Phine was shouting for Anis to hurry up. I was so blanked out. Then I looked down, and I saw Zuby and Nat covering something with a black piece of I don't know, paper? They took it off and I saw a birthday cake!!! They started singing Happy Birthday and I was just so touched and surprised. I had no idea it was all for me. Hahah. Anis even purposely missed one bus stop cause the surprise weren't ready yet! Hahah. And all along they had been planning behind my back. Sneaky people. Vey sneaky. But sadly, Anna couldn't make it so Royce sponsored the cake instead. Hahah. Overall, we camwhored like a bitch and I had a great great time just hanging out with them. I just love them alot. Here are the pictures.

The people that made it happen. - Royce, Phine, Anis, Zuby, Nat.

The bitches. - Me, Zuby, Nat and Phine.

They look like they have nowhere to stay. - Anis and Phine.

Hello? Can somebody pick us up please? - Nat, Anis and me.

Bollywood moment. - Anis and me.

I told you to stay here! - Me and Zuby.

Strangers. - Me, Nat and Zuby.

Have a good day ahead! =)

Brother.

2010-05-24T05:15:00.001-07:00

Picture 1.

Picture 2.

See this guy? That's my brother? Oh no he's no longer a guy sorry. He's a MAN! Hahah. Picture 1 was taken when he went to Genting Highlands with his girlfriend in May 2009. He was 23 back then. Now he's 24. Picture 2 was taken after he met with an accident ending of last year. My holiday at Nenenk's house got cut short cause I had to come home and take care of his big arse. Hahah. But don't worry people. He's healthy and back to normal now and he's a grown ass man already. So its time. Wondering what I'm talking about? Here it goes.

He's getting ENGAGED! Hahahah. I am so happy for him. Engaged to who you might ask. Well, to her!

Kak Zizah

Can you believe he's getting engaged? Cause I can't. To me he's still the brother who's forever annoying and rides me on his bike when he fetches me from primary school. I still remember there was one time where my sister was playing the computer in his room and he was sleeping. I was outside watching TV. All of a sudden he shouted my name. "Zura!" Of course I immediately ran in and asked "What?" Then when I saw he was snoring so soundly, I looked at my sister and she stared back at me. Then the both of us laughed till I cried. He was SLEEP-TALKING people. That big arse. Hahah.

I gotta admit. When I received the news, I was surprised and sad honestly. Cause it all happening so fast. I felt like he was gonna leave this family and apparently just start afresh. Well it is true so I was kinda like sad cause I wasn't ready to see him go yet. So when I went home, I went to his room. I looked around and thought to myself. 'Soon, you ain't gonna see all these anymore babe.' Then I went to look through old pictures and I found this album where it was my birthday and I was wearing a Hello Kitty mask on my head. And in one of the photos my sister was kissing my left cheek and my brother was kissing my left. I cried there and then. I was so sad I didn't want him to go. I didn't wanna lose him. At one point I gotta say that was really selfish cause all I could think of was him, building his new life with his wife and his own kids. Yeah I know. Selfish. But you have to understand. My siblings and I, we were very close. Eventhough we don't show it, we are. I remember we used to hold on to each other's t-shirt and crawl around the house in the middle of the night just because one of us had to pee. We were so cute lah. And the scene was so funny. So when I thought about all those memories I had with them, I really cried my heart out.

Then I told myself. It was time to let go. I can't hold on to them any longer. Someday they will go anyway. So I said, don't be selfish. Let go. So I did. And I'm extremely happy for him. Like finally, after 4 years of being in a relationship, he's finally taking his big step forward in his life. So I wanna wish him all the best. And I vowed to sing at his wedding. I am so excited! =)

Last long big brother.

Today.

2010-05-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

Firstly.

<------------ tagboard.

Hello right back at you, boy. Hahah. I didn't know you READ my blog. =) I miss you and I love you too babyboy.

Ohkay hey people. So how's your day going? Hmmm it's 9.05pm right now. I wonder what you people did the whole day. I'm guessing........................ SLEEPING. Right? Alright you ain't gotta admit it. I understand. =)

So today I had performance at Taman. Reached there at 8 am. Performance started at 10 am and finished at 12.30pm. After that I went over to the Grams place. Damn its been weeks since I last saw them. I missed them so much. And when I reached both of them were like so happy I finally came and didn't forget about them. Atok gave me $50 for my birthday. Hahah. I don't really need the money nor do I want anything. As long as I get to be happy with my family for at least 1 whole day, that's fine with me. So then after eating, I played with Manjebaby. Damn I missed him like hell. I hugged him and kissed him until I was out of breath. And that fatass lil'thang is getting bigger and bigger everytime I see him. Nyayi was amazed with what I did with him.

You see. I have a really unexplainable bond with animals. When I am alone with them, I find myself like talking to them as if they're another person. So the routine that I have with Manjebaby is that, we will rub our heads together everytime I see him anand the it's like I'm the Big Cat. Hahah. I know I know. Silly. But Manjebaby loves it, and I have got nothing to lose. So, what? Hahah. Then I love to feed him. Even though his food are biscuits, I would take a handful of them and feed him the biscuits one at a time. So Nyayi was like 'Bagos ehk dier! Rapat ngan kakak kedue dier.' (Read: Good ah he! He's close to his 2nd sister'.) Hahah 2nd sister is meeee! =)

So then we went home and until now, I've been slacking like a pig. Okay. Till here. Goodnight people! Take care yea? Alright.

Chris Brown

2010-05-19T01:19:00.000-07:00

Hello good afternoon to all readers. I've been Youtube-ing since I reached home just now at 1.30pm. And now its like 4.30pm. So yeah. While I was Youtube-ing, I found videos of interviews of Chris Brown. After the you know, 'tragedy'. Then I kinda got carried away and started searching more videos of that. Now, for those who are close to me, you people know how much I liked him and his music and songs and charm and personality and everything else. But the reason I stand up for him is NOT because I'm his fan. Its because I personally think he has the rights to be given a second chance. Everybody makes mistakes. Come on people. And I gotta admit, I don't like Rihanna. Only today I've found out that she's a bbig-time liar. Yes she is. And again, I'm not saying this because I'm on his side, but I'm saying this because it's a fact.

But first things' first. I'm AGAINST men beating up women. I absolutely think its bloody wrong because eventhough how bad the situation is, men have got to control themselves and never hit their women. Its just very disrespectful and I get annoyed with it. So at first when I heard Chris beat Rihanna up, I was pissed. And sad too. I was disappointed. I bet most of his die hard fans felt the same way too. So I stopped liking him. But I never stopped liking his songs.

Then I heard he was serving his 600 hours of community service and that he had truly changed and become more mature. I was so proud he got back up and stood on his own two feet. He's a fully grown man now. This year he's 21. He's being so humble and low-key at this point and eventhough his new album Graffiti is out in the USA, he's just keeping alow-profile and not making a huge fuss about it. Oh and do you know that he wrote Disturbia? Damn right he did.

In one of his interviews, the interviewer asked if he still loved Rihanna. And he said, "Yes. I will always love her." And the interviewer asked if he's IN LOVE with her. And he just stood there speechless. He didn't know what to say. Now I've posted a video of his apology here before and that was just super thoughtful and apologetic. Those haters out there should quit dissing him. He's learning from the mistake okay. And stop WORSHIPPING Rihanna. Thank you.

FIFTEEN!

2010-05-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody! Well first of all......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! WOOHOO!

I'm fifteen! Yay. Ohmygosh. Hahah. Already this morning when I woke up I received like 18 messages of birthday wishes from all sorts of people. And when I reached home just now, I had like 36 notifications of birthday wishes on my facebook. Gosh. I am simply so touched. Never did I feel so special before. Thanks to everybody for the birthday wishes. I really truly sincerely appreciated it. That was simply so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

Alright. That's it for today. And rememer, if your day haven't been going well so far, at the end of the day, you can always say, "Phew! I'm glad that's over. And tomorrow's a new day!" So have a great great day ahead people. =D

Hmmm...

2010-05-10T02:22:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

Uh. Yeah. Maybe you noticed that my Facebook status is Its Complicated. It's... well... its complicated. I don't think I love him. Maybe I'm just in love with whatever he does. Like all the sweet things. So... Yeah. Don't get confused. I need time to really think about this relationship before I say I love him. But I do like him. He's great guy. Okay? In case you were wondering. =)

On the way home, Anna and I, we had a what's-gonna-happen-to-us-in-the-future-talk in the bus. It was cool. We planned alot of things. And we vowed to stay bestfriends forever. Along with the rest of the girls of course. I really hope our relationship would last long. Like until the rest of our lives. Hopefully, girls. Hopefully. =)

Alright. Till then. Gotta study cause exams are bloody coming. -.- Have a great day ahead everybody!

PS: I want a bright fuure.

I'm Gonna Miss You.

2010-05-07T01:42:00.000-07:00

Hello. Just post to say I miss my babyboy.

What you did yesterday was sooo sweet. Never in my life a guy did that to me. It felt like I was Gabriella Montez from High Musical. Hahah. I was so touched, babe. Especially when you confessed. I melted right there and then. It was just so amazing I couldn't really make out whether I was dreaming or you were really there. You are so daring. That's what everybody around me are saying. And I LOVE YOU for that. Call me when you're back. =)

PS: Oh and I just got news Faizal's coming back soon! I am soooo excited.

2010-05-04T03:06:00.000-07:00

Hey ho hey oh hey lo HALO! Hahah. Okay. What the hell. -.- Oh well. You gon'have to puyt up with me as you read along. =))))))

These days yaw, I've been havin so much damn fun like damn serious I am! I just jumbled ma words didn't I? So what people! So what?! If it don't apply, then you need to let it fly. Fly fly away into the clear blue sky. Then If ya bump into anythin ya don't wanna bump into, don't put the blame on meh. No, no, You can't Put The Blame On Me, No, no, You Can't Put The Blame On Me. Nooooo you CAN'T put the blame on meh. Alright, alright. So I have no reason to be blogging today cuz there is nothin to blog about. So I'm here for just fun. Okay. I'm here just for fun yaw. So If I am talking crap, shoooo!

Alright enough. Hahah. I'm just in a very good mood today. I'm not really sure why. But Maybe 'that' has something to do with it. Hahahah. My girls know what I'm talking about, apparently. So honeys, sshhhh! Heheh.

Okay. I basically don't know how to stretch this post any longer and you guys probably have better things to do than read this, so bye people! I'll see you soon. No wait, I'll post soon. Heh. =p Have a great day ahead, yeah? Toodles lovelies! (Read: Yuck. I sound like some plastic bimbo. Urgh. )

PS: I think I love you, smiley. =)

Hah.

2010-05-02T00:14:00.000-07:00

I had a great time yesterday.
Thanks to somebody. =p

That's all you need to know readers. Hahah.

Birthday.

2010-04-27T02:34:00.001-07:00

We celebrated Daddy's birthday yesterday. We, as in my mom and me. We initially wanted to wait for the Brother but he came home late so we celebrated first. I was studying when Mom went to the kitchen and started frying fishballs and prawnballs. Daddy was busy watching TV.

Mom told me to stop studying and help her out. So I took out 4 plates and 4 spoons. Yes, 4. Put in on the table in our living room. Then I carried the box of Chocolate Cake next. My Dad was like, Woaahhh. Hahah. Classic.

Mom finished frying so we put all the food in front too then we lighted the 5 candles. Yes. My Dad's 50 people. So is my Momma. Then we took pictures of Dad blowing the candles. I took a few pictures with him. So did Mom. Then we sat down happily and munched on the cake. There was just Me, My Dad and My Mom. I felt like cring there and then. But I didn't. Didn't wanna ruin the small celebration. Heh.

Then we left a huge piece for the Brother and I washed up everything. My parents continued watching TV, laughing. I went straight to my room, switched off the lights, and BROKE DOWN.

I was literally crying non-stop the whole night. I don't know if I had swollen eyes this morning but I did cry. My heart was just sinking deeper and deeper as I continued weeping. I clutched it so hard cause it was getting to a point where I could hardly breathe. Tears kept on coming and I kept on sobbing and praying. I just wanted my WHOLE family back. I don't know who I'm living with right now. I want them back. I want them all back.

Then I don't know if I fainted or just drifted off to sleep, but this morning, Mom had a very hard time waking me up. Usually its just 2 calls and I'm up. But this morning, she had to scream at me and slap my arm real hard before my soul could come back to my body.

PS: I have nothing to say.

Post.

2010-04-25T06:48:00.000-07:00

Am I pathetic?
Hey-ho people. Hmmm. Yeap. Typical thing. Just felt like posting. Heh. So uhm. Updates? Yeah. That'll be nice. =)

1. I painted my nails with grey nail plish over the weekends. I look like a ghost. But it's cool.
2. SWs been busy preparing for YOG 'performance and also Tunas Berseni and other performance. So I can't really absent myself no more. =(
3. I've been downloading songs to my MP3. Phine says my Genre is mainstream. Is that right? Yeah I think so.
4. I've been writing my story during school hours and during freetime. I have 1 whole story all done and another I'm working on it now. Everybody wants to read it, but people, patience is a virtue.
5. Last Friday went over to follow Zuby cut her hair at Astina Sari. Near Anna's place. Then Freddie came and we went over to Anna's house. I had fun that day.
6. Anna lent me her Picture Bible. Don't get me wrong. I'm not converting. I love my religion. It's just that I'm interested getting to know more about the other religions in the world. So I'm starting with Christianity.
7. Anna also lent me her Chicken Soup for the Teenage Souls book. It's a very nice book. Teaches you alot of things. I'm gonna grab more Chicken Soup books when I get the chance. =)
8. I miss AhBoy.
9. I mis Manjebaby.
10. Yes. I still miss my sister.

There you go. Thanks for dropping by. Have good night.

PS: Tell me the truth. Am I pathetic?

Uh. Reply.

2010-04-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers. This is gonna be a reply to a recent reader of CBBC named 'Random'. Okay I'm not so sure if he/she is arecent reader, but, aiyah whatever lah. He/she tagged me at my tagboard. So you guys feel free to read it okay? Thanks.

Hello Random. Uhm thanks for the advice. I don't know if I know you, but the way you tagged made me feel like you know me very well. Hahah. Uhm. I'm not sure where to start. Lets just say that, I know when to make the right choices in life. Before I decide on something, I think for 1836735318773 times. I'm serious. But when it comes to making decisions that includes my family, I have to always make sure that my choice will benefit both me, and my WHOLE family.

In this case, I can't just ignore my parents and you know, blame all this on them. Because eventhough I HATE to admit it, part of it, IS my sister's fault. So I can't just ignore that fact and you now, go against my parents. And I know I sound very pathetic that I'm complaining I'm missing my sister alot, and I'm doing nothing, but seriously. Nobody can truly, deep down, heart-to-heart understand what I'm going through.

I mean, at certain points yes. I'm angry with myself that I can't just, like you said, voice out. Cause I'm in the middle. And I can't exactly choose who to side with. So to me, its like I'm just on my own and I don't take sides. I don't like that. But I can't help it. As now that she doesn't live with me, I can't really do anything.

Oh what am I saying. I did voice out that day. I failed almost all my Common Test and all were F9s. Dad kept scolding me saying my new classmates are distracting me. And I just burst out saying I couldn't concentrate on my studies with all that was happening. I cried. But he kept on saying that it had nothing to do with me and my studies. I almost screamed but I controlled. I wanted to tell him that it has EVERYTHING to do with me and it's affecting my studies even more. But I didn't. Because Dad is already going through alot of things. He's truly hurt that he had lost his daughter. Because now, his daughter is disappointed with him. I've always known that Dad loves her alot. So does my Mom. For years they've been tolerating her rebellious doings. But I guess that day he just couldn't take it anymore so... he did THAT. But I can tell he regrets it. Eventhough he's always saying 'Serves her right. She needs to learn.' His eyes, his actions. They tell everything. Do you even have any idea that he dreams about her all the time? Even my mom. They kept dreaming her as a child.

I just can't explain how bad the situation is right now in words. Cause I understand what my parents are going through and I ALSO understand what my sister is going through. For Gawd's sake, who doesn't love a sister? Like you said, blood is thicker than water. I mean. Like I mentioned in my previous posts. Everything I see, reminds me of her. And I always avoid feeling that loss. But I know I can't avoid it forever. So I usually just silently cry to sleep. And my parents never barred me from seeing her. I just don't think I can face her. Cause if 1 day I did, I'll end up bursting in tears and just make a fool out of myself.

So what I'm trying to say is that, I know its never too late to voice out. But I just can't. Not that I'm a coward. I just can't. I don't want to. I don't want to hurt either sides. So I'm just gonna let time heal the wounds.

So on top of that, thanks for the advice and tagging and reading my blog. But seriously, who are you?

Hey.

2010-04-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

Bonjour everybody. Hahah. I didn't go to school today. I'm on MC. Since yesterday I have been having really painful stomach aches. And its not those that you wanna go toilet kind of pain. Its like hundreds of pins being poked at your stomach. And its just on the right side of my tummy. Yesterday night I was in so much pain that while studying, I was sweating like a pig cause I couldn't bear it. In the end, I just wrapped myself in a blanket and clutched my stomach to sleep. I thought it'd be gone by tomorrow morning, so I let it go.

But this morning when dad woke up for school, I could still feel the same amount of pain. But I ignored it cause maybe it was gonna go off soon. But when I was in the bathroom, I almost slipped and fell because I was about to faint. So got myself together and told my parents about it. They were worried I was gonna get appendix or something. So dad left some money for me to go doctor. So at around 9 am I went down to see Dr Lim, a lady doctor.

I told her about the pain and she did a urine test. After a while they called me back in and she told me it was Bladder Infection. I don't know what that means but it sounded nasty. They game me 1 antibiotic, 1 painkiller and a few packets of something for the bladder. So right now, I'm at home, still in pain, but lesser, I'd say.

So there you go. Just an update. Thanks for dropping by! =)

Sighs.

2010-04-09T03:05:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody. So I took a long break didn't I? Ohh well. I am not allowed to use computer nowadays. Because of my results for the Common Test. And I am also not allowed to go out at all. Sighs.

So during my free time I read books. I love books. I think I told you people before. I love romance/suspense books. So I went to the library and borrowed 6 books. I just returned them a few minutes ago and I got another 2 books.

But when I don't feel like reading, I write stories. I have little notebooks that's filled with dialogues that I created in my head. When I was thinking I suddenly realised that the dialogues were linked after another, so I penned them down and made a story. I have 4 stories in mind. I'm writing 1. And another 1 is on my desktop. Completed my Chapter 1 and 2. I'm working on Chapter 3 at the moment. So yeah.

I went Thomson Plaza just now. After school. To eat. I went to see if she was around. But she wasn't. So I turned back, hung out with the girls, and went home. I wrote on her facebook later letting her know I was there. The next thing I know, Atok called me and said she isn't working there anymore. She's working at Plaza Singapura. Guess how heartbroken I was.

PS: I wish life had a PAUSE and a REWIND button.

Finally.

2010-03-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hello. So I just finished watching Fergie on Tyrashow at Youtube. And I fell in love with her song, Finally. That's why I've put it up here at CBBC. Just listen to it. It relates Fergie's life story. She went through alot as she grew up. She had an addiction to Meth, some kind of drug. And she slowly recovered. The song is like telling everybody HOW she recovered. Here are the lyrics.

MMMMMMMMMM

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream
Cinderella theme
Crazy as it seems
Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day
But I would have to wait
Make so many mistakes
I couldn't comprehend
As I watched it unfold
This classic story told I left it in the cold
Walking through an open door that led me back to you
Each one unlocking more of the truth

I finally stopped tripping on my youth
I finally got lost inside of you
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]
Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally

MMMMMMMM

I remember the beginning you already knew
I acted like a fool
Just trying to be cool
Fronting like it didn't matter
I just ran away
And on another phase
Was lost in my own space
Found what its like to hurt selfishly
Scared to give of me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I have made

Finally got out of my own way
I've Finally started living for today
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]
Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have a our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Gave my love to him Finally

MMMMMMMM

Finally, Finally

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something beautiful is happening, happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally

Ohhhhhhh, Finally, Finally, finally

Its a beautiful song. Just listen to it and read the lyrics. It is so touching. I can actually relate to the song. Except that everytime the 'finally'comes in, I'll just let it pass. Sighs.

Aaahhh.

2010-03-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

Dirty Dancing Havana Nights Diego Luna as Javier (Actor)

Hello people.

Argh I am in love.

I am in love with a movie.

A movie titled Dirty Dancing Havana Nights.

Its just so wonderful.

The dancing is hot.

The actor himself is fcuking hot.

I've watched it 5 times in 5 days.

And just now, I just bought the DVD with special features for $9.90.

And it was awesome watching it alone and giggling to myself everytime Diego Luna makes his appearence.

Aaaahhh.

I'm Head over heels with Dirty Dancing 2.

Watch it people.

Ahah.

2010-03-12T05:21:00.001-08:00

Hello there. Nyahahahah. So this is an update for what I did just now. =)

I met Johanna, Izad, Mugilan, Jaafar at Somerset Skate Park just now at 10am. I was wearing a leopard print tank top and purple jeans. So when I reached all of them looked drunk. Hahah. Cause of the way they sit and all. Then while waiting for Ridwan to come, the three of them skate-d around. Izad kept falling and cause of the impact, he will go around bending down and saying, 'Ow. Ow. Ow.' He really looked like old man. Hahah. Anna tried skating too. She was so cute and funny. She actually fell when she slid off the slope when she was coming towards me after she stopped skating. She fell and hit her elbow and head. I thought she was gonna cry, I swear. So I stood up immediately and asked if she was ok. She was quiet for awhile, then she started laughing. -.-

She had this bruise on her elbow. Poor girl. So when Ridwan reached, we went to East Coast Park. It was a looooooong journey. Went to the skating thing there. It was sooo cool. There were more boys there with their skates and bicycles. I was so amazed they could do cool tricks.

Then we left because Anna was meeting up with Freddhie and Zuben and I was meeting Puma and Areena to watch Dear John. We ate at KFC Plaza Singapura while waiting. Then Freddhie and Zuben came. Hahah. Freddhie was so hilarious. I like his personality. He ain't shy and he's very socialable. He kept asking questions and cracking up jokes. Zuben was the 'cool' dude. Hahah.

After they ate, we went to their school, YMCA. Its a damn good school. I wanna go there one day. We went to 9th floor and sat at the tables there. Freddhie showed me his magic tricks. Sooo cool lah! I was like 'What? How did you do that?!' the whole time. Hahahah. Then Anna and Freddhie dared each other to go into the swimming pool. So Anna wore Zuben's extra t-shirt and got ready to go into the pool. Then before she knew it, Freddhie pushed her into the pool. But she was holding on to his t-shirt so he went in too. Hahahahah. It was a funny sight. Then they played in the water and kept trying to drown each other. Hahah. I love them both. Then they got out and we went to Level 3 carpark to erm. Then I had to leave cause Arina and Puma were waiting for me.

So I hugged Anna, who was very drenched. When I hugged Freddhie, he didn't wanna let go cause he wanted me to get all wet. I was like Okay I'm wet already!!! Hahahah. Then I hugged Zuben and he was like, Áww. Now I'M wet. Hahahah. Funny people.

So I watched Dear John. I was a very slow movie. I cried when Channing Tatum was like crying cause his dad in the movie was dying. So, yeah. The other parts were boring. Then I left and went home. So that's basically it. I'm done here. Toodles!

Bubbly is back.

2010-03-10T04:18:00.000-08:00

Hello. I don't think I wanna be that saaaad miserable girl anymore. Its not fun and irritating when everybody asks u why? What's wrong? What's happening. So yeah. No more saaad girl.
Presenting.
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AZURA !
New and improved. Imma be happy always. Smiling like nothing's wrong. Cause if u mix personal with school, it gets messy. So hello everybody. Imma pretend nothing's going on okay? So that it is better for me and everyone else.

So currently, I'm trying to help some people with their problems. Do try and figure out who you are.
1. Girl - You're not guilty. Stop thinking you are. Just make it up to him now that the other one's away. Analyse your inner feelings too please. Cause right now you're so unsure of yourself. Don't be afraid to ask him out. Its better than he asking u out again and you fail to come right? So gather your guts and ask him out. It's nothing wrong. Stay strong. Fight for those feelings buried inside.

2. Girl - You also another one. It's not your fault larh dhey. They both liked you at the same time. It's A's fault. He just can't accept the fact that the other one likes you and you DO like him back. So don't keep blaming yourself. And stop being so paranoid when he does something to R. Let them settle it. The more you defend R, the more he'll hurt him. You have to trust me on this. You never know what he'll do if you say a word about him putting a finger on R. So chill. Try to ignore them aite? But you can always be the listening ear to R. That should be ok.

3. Girls - Argh. I don't know where to start. Like I said, talking among yourselves is the best solution. You can't possibly ignore the situation and start to not talk to each other in the future right? That's just not right? From the way I see it, you guys have alot to discuss about each other. It can be done. So stop being pessimistic about the outcomes. You have to speak up. And be patient, always. Patience is a virtue. Your friendship is something special. Whatever happened to (Read: Translate to malay) "Let the moon be the witness for our friendship." You guys related your friendship like that, so you have to UPHOLD it that way. Whatever it is, talk it out. Pour out your feelings. And always always always, compromise and cooperate. Honesty is the best policy my girls. Stay strong ohkay?

So that's it. That's just how I feel about the problems some of my friends are going through nowadays. So if you have any other comments, talk to ME in school or here at the Tagboard. Thank you very much. Have a good night.

No Idea

2010-03-08T05:25:00.001-08:00

So I explained to Johanna about the dream. And she said that it has something to do with that particular person. I don't know Anna. I just don't know. My whole life's falling apart. I'm not an emotional person lah. I'm ALWAYS happy and smiling to everybody. I love laughing cause it makes me feel better. I am bubbly. I don't show my feelings. Its just in there. Buried under all the smiles and laughter. But I'm not acting 'happy'. At certain parts of my life I AM happy. Especially when I'm surrounded with people I love. You see. 4 things make up my life.

1. Family(Including pets)

2. Friends(FIVE ! and my other friends)

3. Feelings(Including happiness)

4. Beliefs

So, yeah. Argh I dunnoe why I'm so sentimental right now. I feel like I'm such a loser. Wake up Azura. It ain't gonna change. You'll just have to go on from where it started.

Dreams.

2010-03-07T00:18:00.000-08:00

I dreamt I was standing in the middle of a field with nothing else around it. And then few seconds later, I felt a sudden sharp pain in my heart. Before I knew it, I was bleeding. I couldn't breathe properly. At that moment all I saw was the beautiful sky with white clouds floating above me. I asked to the silence around me, "Am I dead?" The answer came clear that I wasn't. Because few seconds later, a black figure loomed above me. I couldn't see clearly cause I was loosing too much blood and my vision was blurred. I was dying. And it turned out that someone had shot me straight through my heart. And I eventually died in that dream.

Please tell me that dreams aren't real. Cause that dream felt so real. When I woke up, felt that stab of pain at the spot where the bullet went through. Sighs.

Oh Gosh.

2010-03-03T00:19:00.000-08:00

Hello there. This post is gonna be long. I don't know if you're interested to read. Cause if you aren't, its okay. You can just enjoy the songs here. But if you are, then be my guest to read until the end. It's just gonna be long and ininteresting. So until here, if you wanna go, thanks for dropping by. =)

I'm not sure where to start. There are a million of things I wanna let out and away from myself, but I can't and I don't know why. For the first problem, probably its because I don't want to and I'm just gonna let her be. And for the other problem, I can't let it out. It's very private. But yet again, I don't think I can hold it any longer because its getting heavier and heavier everyday. Like I mentioned earlier, I want to let it all out, but I just can't. Please don't ask why. There are tonnes of things that I'm keeping inside me. Those that are not so serious I tell the FIVE ! or Johanna. But other than that, those that are serious and personal, I just keep it to myself. Yes girls, there are more things that I don't tell you guys compared to those things that I let out. Cause, it concerns me, my happiness and my family. So I can't.

So here, I'm just gonna rant on how miserable I am at this stage. I mean, do all teens go through this type of puberty? One that hurts so bad you feel like shouting but everybody's around? It's like you're so secluded in your own tiny space cause you can't go out. Nobody out there understands you, so you're afraid they'll think you're so problematic and you need help. Gosh. How do I ever get out of this situation. Of course they'll say, okay, tell me, maybe I can help. But in the end they're just gonna look at you and say, 'Ohmygosh. I have nothing to say. Or relax. Or chill. Or just be patient. I'm tired of all these. I need serious help like somebody who completely understands my pain and can guide me through on how to heal that wound.

There are so many things going on in me, my life. Millions of things that I don't even understand how, or why its like that. Sometimes I'm not even sure what the problem is, and I try to find the reason behind it. Other times I just feel like crumpling away every problem I have and dumping it into Mr Dustbin. I'm so confused, so disturbed, so distracted and so miserable. Sighs.

1) When I got that news, I felt throwing myself in front of a speeding car when I'm crossing roads. My whole world just collapsed. I was like, what the hell? How on Earth did she get it? Is it like a form of punishment for me from my Gawd? Or did she do something in the past that made him angry so he wants to punish her? I don't know. I hope its none and I hope she's gonna be with me until forever. Cause I don't think I can live without her. I love her, I do, and I don't wanna wake in the morning and not feel her presence someday. I just don't. Every night I pray that the results are negative and that thing doesn't grow and will just go away. Cause if it does... Oh man. Suddenly my heart weighs heavier than ever.

2) When she left, I felt so helpless and stupid that I couldn't even stand up for her or talk some sense into her. I felt so dumb. In fact I felt that I was the dumbest s*s**r ever in this world. I didn't open my mouth to stop this nonsense. I just sat in my room hearing the quarrels they had about her. I just stood there blankly when they t**** her out. I don't even remember the last time I heard her voice. I badly want to visit her and just see her face and tell her how sorry I am for being such a douchebag and how badly I miss her. But then again, I don't have the guts to face her. Cause I'm sure once I see her face, tears are gonna start rolling. Just hearing the stories he tells me about her makes me tear up. It's like I want to, I do, but I'm such a coward that I can't. I feel like 10 people just poked a hole in my heart. Same spot, over and over again when I think about those days. And what's worst is that every day the hole gets bigger and bigger. She's just 4 bus stops away from me everyday and everytime I reach home, not accomplishing my own desires to see her, I feel like slapping myself so hard and shouting that I'm such a bad and cowardly s*s**r. I suck. I'm a bloody sucker.

So what now? What's the definition of my life? My happiness especially. If you can't tell me, then what do you expect me to tell myself. Just go on and be patient? Time will heal all wounds? Sighs. If time is taking so long, then why should I wait for it? What if that time is too late? I don't have 100 centuries to experience life. I don't even think I have a hundred years. So how long is this happy ending going to take to come to me? How long do I have to wait until the hole closes and never opens up ever again? When am I going to have that moment where everything is peaceful and remains that way until the clock stops ticking? I seriously don't know. I can't wait. At least I don't think I can hold onto that buoy any longer. It's either I drown, or I'll be saved by a lifeguard. Is that what I need? A life-guard? More like life-guider. If there's such a thing sold anywhere in the stores, I would even trade my life just to get it.

Sighs. I don't know why I am saying all this. I just miss my old life. The life where I thought everything was going to be okay, every single day. The life at which I opened my eyes and saw the world for the very, first, time.

Heheh.

2010-03-02T05:44:00.000-08:00

Hello there dearest readers. So uhm. Where to start? I got no idea.

Owh! I met Royce today! Hahah. He's not bad. I love his smile. He has that very friendly atmosphere all over him. Hahah. Nice dude. We are so called Kindergarten pals in Phine''s dream. Hahah. Or mind. Or world. Aiyah up to her lahh. Hahah. So, yeah. He's a good guy. So is the other one. Sorry Phine. Both of them are good for you. It's just that he is more of THAT kinda guy that I have always wanted for you. But of course, it's supposed to be you who decides. So, take a pick! Pick the one that's you think is right for you. Alright? All the best. Hahah.

Other than that, I have nothing else to say. I just love CBBC's new look. Hahah. Ohkay whatever. Have a good night earthlings!

PS: Love is friendship. (Can anybody agree/disagree to this?)

What's up?

2010-02-28T00:37:00.001-08:00

Heyy. What's up? So how's my new look? I mean her new look? Who's look? Your grandmother's look. Hahah. Kidding. I'm talking about Crappybullshit's look. How is it? I'm tired of red and blck all the time. Then I found this blogskin, so I was like, Ahhh. Finally a nice colour. I am so glad I could preview the skin first before choosing it. Or is it since last time we can preview it? Hey! I 'm still new at changing blogskins okay! Give me time to get used to it. Changing her skin took me almost 2 hours just to find a nice one and changing the template and everything. Hahahah

So you can see that the links, have pictures attached to it. If you wanna go to that blog, don't click the picture. Click the name. I thought I wanted to do something different since almost all blogs are like just names and everything. So, yeahh. I will try my best to find a really nice picture of that blogger. Hahah. I don't wanna sabotage people okay. I'm a good girl gone bad. =)

So yesterday the biology students from 3E4, only me,Anna, Arina and a few others, plus some pure Biology students went to the Body World exhibition. The exhibition was sooo cool. You guys should drop by ya know? But we're not allowed to take pictures of the exhibition itself. We got 2 tickets. The body world and the science centre ticket as well. We were told that we could explore on our own and leave anytime we want. So when we 1st reached science centre, not much people were there. So Arina and Anna and me, we camwhored like there was no tomorrow. It was sooo fun. The pictures are still in the process of being uploaded by Johanna. And she said it's gonna take some time. So, yeah. When they're up, I'll tell you people about it. So after we walked around the Body World Exhibition, we toured around Science Centre and snapped more pictures. Hahah. Overall, I had lots of fun with them.

Ohkay. I guess that's all I wanna post about today. Thank you for dropping by Crappybullshit.bs.com! Owh I'm just gonna name her CBBC. CrappyBullshitBlogspotCom. =)

PS: My phone is confiscated for major high bills. Its around $219.04 and 3757 messages. Hahah. So mom got angry and took my phone away. She says she's gonna buy prepaid card for me. Urgh. So anyways, if you have anything important to tell me or whatsoever, just find me at MSN(offline message), Facebook, or just tag me at The Tagboard. Thanks yea? Till we meet again.

Hey.

2010-02-25T02:44:00.000-08:00

Hello. I uploaded pictures at facebook few minutes ago people! Go check them out. I took the liberty to go and edit all. Haaaahhh. I finished my D&T early yesterday, and I took one picture and started editing. Few minutes later, I had already edited 3 photos. Then I was like, aiyah just edit all lah. I like them pictures though. I thought I did a good job. Hahah. Toodles!

Pathetic.

2010-02-23T05:05:00.000-08:00

You are so fcuking pathetic. Sucking up to me in any way that you can to keep hiding the bloody truth. Being nice to me as if you are so innocent. Agreeing with everything I say as if you think I'm not going to see through your actions. Trying to act like an angel in front of me to hide that you think I am so darn stupid.

BULLSHIT.

You are nothing but a worthless piece of shit. I ain't dumb, you whore.

Hmmmmm.

2010-02-19T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hello people. Uhm the previous post is just some... Aiyahh just something lahh ohkay. So don't think that I'm sooo depressed that I'm gonna kill myself or something. Just family stuff. Pressurising but I think I'm at least holding on to the tiniest rope possible.

1) So I broke up with him. Due to some reasons that pisses me off even today when I think about it. He was angry/sad, but typical lahh. Sorry bee. I really am. But I just can't. Not when you ----- someone else more than me.

2) I didn't go dance last Thursday. I so wasn't feeling well. Until today. Thursday night I almost fainted. Cause I didn't eat anything from morning till that period of time because of the bloody Queue. Met Iman for a few minutes before I went home with Dzul after Zuby left, and Iman went to meet Nat. Hahah. Father and daughter bonding. Anna went home before that. I think she had work? Ohkay.

I don't really know what else to update on. Oh! I watched Valentine's Day with Puma and Areena at GV! It was nice/funny/sweet! I liked it. Hahah. I treated them KFC cause I badly wanted to eat however they didn't have money, so I treated them. In the theater, Anis and I were laughing so loud almost all the time. And Puma and Areena would be like "Sssshhh!" Hahahah. I had fun.

So imma bathe now then get maself ready to go to SW. I ain't feeling well but no choice. Toodles people!

PS: Family, family, family. What is the definition again?

Argh.

2010-02-13T02:46:00.000-08:00

I feel so stupid.
I feel so dumb.
Or am I really stupid?
Or am I really dumb?
I can't even help myself stand up.
How the hell am I suppose to do this?
Face this?
Or even ignore this?
I don't have that strength.
I'm weak.
Everytime I think about it, I'll break down.
My whole heart's bein torn to millions of tiny pieces.
Its like somebody ripped it of from my body then threw it on the road.
Few seconds later, a huge truck runs over it.
What do I do now?
Just sit in my room and pray silently for someone, something, to fix my heart back.

Woahh.

2010-02-10T04:43:00.000-08:00

Gosh. Whoops. Sorry. I mean. Hello. =)

1. Saturday, snapped hair away. I have a well-structured concave/bob. The back is really short. Hahah. But I don't know why, I just like it better short and the sides long. Haahh. Then had performance at night at Taman Warisan. Not bad lahh. I had fun at least.

2. Sunday, nothing much.

3. Monday, DANCE. Pffft. Boring but, whatever. No choice lahh whokay.

4. Tuesday, hahhh. Went home with Zuby and Phine. Went opposite school for a while. Zubaidah, ssshhhh! Then phine went home and Zuby and I went home.

5. Today, nothing much. Went to find a valentine's day gift for Phine's mum. Her dad told her to choose a nice bear. Hahah. Sweet man.

Ohhkay. Gdnight!

Hello lah hello lah.

2010-02-05T05:27:00.000-08:00

Wassup peepos! I uh... I don't know what to say. Aiyeoh. Old lady on board. Ohh yeah. Speaking of old lady. Just now in chemistry class we kept saying 'old lady' very loudly to Mrs Guan. But we kept laughing cause she didn't hear us at all. It's like every sentence we finished by, 'Ah yeah. You old lady lah.' Hahah. It was damn hilarious and you should have been there.

So just updates.

1) Monday- Had dance. Belda, Ms Shining and I did the counting for our Student Choreography song. We don't really know what to do, which part to put in where. So we didn't really finish it. But all and all we had fun.

2) Tuesday- I went home after school. Didn't feel like going anywhere. So I went home.

3) Wednesday- When school ended, I sat down in the canteen with Zuby since Phine and all went home already. Sat down with Kabilan, Ridwan and all lah except Izad. No idea where he went. Then so called Subhraj girlfriend the fat ass who smelled of curry, came and sat at our table. WTF. She was like saying Govind's so cute. Hahahahah. Then we ask her go away she don't want. Kept laughing like something so funny like that. Then the boys were like "We give you 20 secs to go away. If not we pour water at you." Then she don't believe. Then Kabilan was like " If I do how?" Then she kept laughing. Then Ridwan gave the pissed look then said "Eh if I do how?" Then she laugh slower. Then we started counting. She still laugh laugh then we say, okay we give you 10 seconds. So we count, she just stand there. Bazil stood up and splash the water at her when we reached 0. Abit only lahh. Then she slowly went. Stupid fatass. After that they went soccer, Zuby went netball, I went to meet my boyfriend. After that he sent me to Bugis for my workshop at Taman Warisan. We had to learn Indonesian dance combine with other traditional dance groups all over Singapore. Had fun of course. Reached home at 11++PM.

4) Thursday- After school had dance. After dance went to eat at Mcdonald with Fifie and Syafiq. Then went to Taman Warisan again. This time we did formation and all for our Saturday showcase. We're like the introduction for the viewers to see and know what to expect before they watch the Pros from Indonesia dance it. So, yeah. Finished debrief at 10++PM. Then had to clean up and all cause that Taman Warisan is under Sri Warisan's property, so Madam Som always order us to be good hosts and clear up every single thing before leaving so that others can enjoy the place. Wrapped up at 11PM. Reached home at 12 something.

5) This morning I couldn't wake up. But I still did. Areena didn't come school today, so I was like so pathetic sitting alone at the table during Chemistry. But I still had fun crapping around with Dennis/Dzul. Hahaha. Alexea also. Johanna slept all the way. Afiq also. Puma every 5 minutes give me the Jibek look. Hahahh. Then we ended and phew! Chemistry was over! Hahaha. So waited for Phine/Zuby to finish their art before going home with them. I reached home, bought my lunch, ate and slept for like 2 hours before waking up to do chores before mom reach home.

So there. I'm currently watching Suria Elektra. Ohkay lahh. Not bad.

PS: Miss you bby.

I love you.

2010-01-31T06:00:00.000-08:00

I look so school girl. WTF lahh. Hahah.

Hello readers. Just update.

1. Tomorrow's school day.
2. Tomorrow's Monday.
3. Tomorrow got Biology test.
4. Tomorrow got Maths test.
5. Tomorrow got dance.
6. Tomorrow got History.
7. Argh!
8. Ergh!
9. Irgh!
10. Orgh!
11. Urgh!
12. I love Farhan. =))))))))

PS: Faizal, wtf lahh. When the hell are you coming back?! Hrmpf!

2010-01-30T04:32:00.000-08:00

Halooo.

1. I don't know what to say.
2. I still don't know what to say.
3. I think I know already.
4. Oh gosh I lost it.
5. Hey I remember.
6. Argh its gone again.
7. Somebody please help me.
8. Yes! I finally remember!
9. I just remembered to say...
10. HELLO.

Ohhkay that was lame. I know. =) I've been feeling lame since this morning. Hahah.
By the way, I had a photoshoot session with Aliens In Training PTE LTD today.

Snap 1.

Snap 2.

Snap 3. My favourite.

PS: I make such a cute alien. =p

Hello.

2010-01-27T04:38:00.000-08:00

Hey. Just updates.

1. I feel miserable. Cause Bunny, has already passed on. It was on Monday morning when I was about to go school. Like I said he has a tumour around his stomach area. And for the past few weeks he wasn't able to sit/stand/eat/drink. So mom and I take turns to feed him and clean him everyday. But everysince that Sunday, it stopped eating. And when I give water, the water comes back out. So we already knew that the time would come soon. So that Monday morning when I was tying my hair, mom came into my room and told me to feed him as soon as I'm done. So when I was done, I went to him and put him into my arms. Tried giving him water but he didn't swallow. So I just wiped his mouth and held him still for a few seconds. Then at one point, he opened his mouth and breathed heavily. I just stared at him while my heart kept pumping like mad. After about 8 heavy breaths, he took one last breath, and breathed out. And then he stood still. So still that my heart stopped.

I was speechless. He was there, in my hands, took his last breath and went. All I could say was, "Bunny?" I shook him gently. When there was still no response and it was confirmed, tears started falling from my eyes as I hugged him close and whispered "I love you, Bunny." My heart sank. My mind blanked. I slowly stood up, held him in my arms, and went to mom's room to tell her the news. I had tears on my face so my parents were like, "Huh?!" Then they took a look and then made all the arrangements for Bunny and all. In the car I just sobbed and sobbed. So Nat, that day in the canteen, I cried because of that.

Bunny was a wonderful creature. I got him when I was in March during my 2nd year of Kindergarten. Which was 6 years old. Throughout these almost 10 years, Bunny's seen and heard everything. So losing Bunny is like a slap in the face to me because, when cats came into my life, I admit, I neglected him. I didn't take care of him as much as before. Because the cats were so interesting to me. Only last year, I started realising I'm selfish and unfair. Because he grew skinny, and unhealthy, in terms of hygiene and weight. So I tried my best to balance between him and my 5 other cats. When I found out he got tumour, I thought I was prepared to let him go. But judging from how I reacted in school, I guess I wasn't. I mean, he was my first rabbit, my first pet, damn. My first love. So thats why I couldn't let go so easily until we buried him on Tuesday night. I felt that at least he can't feel anymore pain. So I told myself, don't be selfish, don't hold him back, he'll be suffering from the pain if he continues to live. So I let him go and every night I tell him, before you go, let me be there during your last breaths. I want to be there with you. So I'm glad he waited for me. Sighs.

Bunny, wherever you are, I just wanna say, I miss you very much. And I still can't help but feel guilty for neglecting you before. Please forgive me. I love you very much and you'll always and forever stay in my heart.

2. Just other updates. I'm having baaad sore throat. I can't even talk properly just now on the phone with hmm hmm. Had to repeat almost every sentence. Hahah. Other than that, I've decided, I don't want to care about you anymore. Full stop.
So anything else I missed? Oh2! Dzul told me many people thought we were together. Hahah. Friends lah people.

Goshh.

2010-01-24T05:43:00.000-08:00

Hello. Actually I don't really know what to say. Just felt like typing and all. Oh well, whatever.

1. Last Saturday, I had Sri Warisan. But dropped by Bishan to pass Dzul's homework to Arina. I was a little bit late, and worst of all when I arrived, my principal was there. She just wanted to update us on certain things that were going to happen for this year, so yeah. After that I accompanied mom for foot massaging at Tekka Mall. Its damn boring there. After that, we went home. So that was Saturday.

2. Today, early morning woke up and went to my grams place. Played with Manje Baby as soon as I got there. While Dad/Atok/Mom/Nyayi talk, I played with him, looked around the house ad all. Argh. Whatever larh. I don't wanna elaborate no more.

So right now, I'm typing this post. The most stupid post ever typed by me. Hahah. Ohhkay. Truth is, I'm stressed out and disturbed. I think I'm gonna be depressed soon. Or worst, crazy. Sighs.

PS: I want to run away from everybody.

Haaahh.

2010-01-22T04:44:00.000-08:00

People! Whatever you read here stays here! Don't go around talking to people about it alrite?! Thank you.

1. You're changing. Oh wait, you've changed. I don't know if you know who you are but all I'm saying is you've changed. New friends new attitude is it? Sighs.

2. I miss my sister. My fat and heavy cat. And Ah Boy. All of a sudden I felt that stab of pain on my chest while on the bus to Phine's house. I have no idea how. Haiz.

3. I love my boyfriend. (Whatever's here stays here.)

PS: I'm so sleepy nowadays. I just can't wake myself up during classes. I feel like falling asleep almost every second. Why?

Update.

2010-01-21T04:15:00.000-08:00

Hello there. So my previous post was... when again? Hmphh. Don't remember. So today is gonna be another update. No more looooong stories from me here at Crappybullshit.blogspot.com!

1) I'm busy busy busy with school lately. ALOT of homework. DNT/Malay/Maths and so on and so forth. So I've not got so much time to hang out so much. Cause Monday and Thursdays, I have dance until 6 PM. That leaves me with Tuesday/Wednesday and Friday. And it all depends on the people I hang out with. *Ehem ehem!* Hahahah.

2) My rabbit, Bunny, who is nearly 9 years old since I had him during Kindergarten 2, is dying. No joke. Its dying. It has a tumour near its stomach. And it's grown so big that he can barely stand up. So nowadays, Mum and I, we take turns to take care of him. Feed him water and vegetables everyday. Its eyes are infected, I think. Always so watery. Sighs. What's gonna happen to me? 1st, my mum. 2nd, my sister and Manje Baby. 3rd, my brother, nearly. 4th, Ah Boy. Then now, Bunny. Next who? Life is so unfair. Tuhan can give me anything I want at one point. Then take it all back at another. Nowadays I'm even afraid to wake up in the morning to even see or touch anything. Hmmm.

3) So I'm currently happy with him. Hahah. Today is already 1 week 2 days. And its going well so far. (Shut up Phine!) Hahah. We meet on days that I'm free. And he calls me every night. He usually tells me he can't meet cause he has soccer or his mum won't allow. But in the next minute he tells me he's already in Bishan. Hahahah. And he got kicked out of the team for not attendig cause he always ends up meeting me instead. Hahahah. Sowie Bee! =p

So I'm basically done here. As you can see, my sad stories are usually in the middle and my post always ends happily. That's because I don't want you to think too much about my unfair life and sympathize me. I don't want that ohkayy? So thank for reading! =)

PS: I miss my bestfriend lahh!

Hey.

2010-01-15T05:26:00.000-08:00

Hello people. So again, just an update. I am sooo lazy to type paragraphs anymore. So an update on what's been going on lately would be better.

1) So lessons finally start. Chemistry/History/DNT sucks. Chem:Mrs Guan. She teaches like sh*t. Histoy: Tan Wei Nah. She reads from the powerpoint slides that doesn't make sense. And DNT? Urgh. The teachers give you a task, and you are told to figure what you're suppose to do, yourself. Bloody hell.

2) So dance has been oh-kay for this period of time. We have our own choreography. And the new Sec Ones are joining us next week? I think. Some are super cute some are not bad.

3) I love my class. I have members to team up with in disturbing johanna and my new classmate, Joel. They sit beside each other during Chem and English. Then Me, Dzul, Puma, Arina, Afiq and some of the rest will start, 'Ehem!' Hahahha. Its so fun. Everybody is against Anna! =p

4) I really miss my 4th cat. He's been missing for more than 2 weeks. I don't know where the hell he is. He hasn't come home yet. I miss him so much. I still think about him. Hungry or safe or alive or gone. I'm worried sick. But I can't find him. =(

5) In other words, I'm attached. To the Bendemeer guy that I said was getting to know me. Well, we officially sealed the deal o 13/01/2010, where we met for the first time. He's super duper tall. 16+ cm. If not, 170 cm. And we look funny standing side by side. But, whatever. He's nice and I like his personality. Probably we're meeting tomorrow. If not Sunday. Yesterday wehn we were smsing, he was like, 'I wish I could see you right now!' Hahahah.

So that's all. Its an update, but its sooo long. Sorry. Heh. Thanks for reading, anyway!

PS: Mira a.k.a Apai's gf! Don't sad2 ohkay? He'll be gone for 2 weeks. He'll come back, sayang! Take care and miss you!

Hello

2010-01-10T05:11:00.000-08:00

I don't wanna type long long. So this is just gonna be an update.

1) I feel miserable. I've been crying no-stop every night thinking about my cat.
2) Tomorrow is the first day of studying. And Maths/Science/English is two hours each day.
3) Some guy from Bendemeer Sec smsed me just now in the morning. And we're getting to know each other. =)
4) I have to get a grip of myself.
5) I want Ah Boy back.

PS: I feel horrible.

2010-01-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

My cat is gone. Ah Boy. Ah Boy is nowhere near me anymore. I don't know where he is, whether he's safe or not. All I know, he's out there, trying to find his way home. My heart is broken, cause my bestfriend day and night is gone. Gone when I was so far away enjoyig myself in Batam. I knew I should never have gone to Batam.

I miss Ah Boy. I want him back. Please give me a sign to find him.